Chapter 5
Letter five of an authentic narrative of some remarkable and interesting particulars in the life of John Newton Please visit LibriVox.org an Authentic narrative of some remarkable and interesting particulars in the life of John Newton by John Newton hardships endured in Africa dear sir There seems an important instruction and a frequent use in these words of our dear Lord
Mine hour is not yet come The two following years of which I am now to give some account will seem as an absolute blank in a very short life But as the Lord's hour of grace was not yet come I was to have still deeper experiences of the dreadful state of the heart of man when left to itself I Have seen frequent cause since to admire the mercy of the Lord in
banishing me to these distant parts and Almost excluding me from human society at a time when I was big with mischief and like one Infected with a pestilence was capable of spreading a taint wherever I went Had my affairs taken a different turn Had I succeeded in my designs and remained in England my sad story would probably have been worse
Worse in myself indeed. I could have hardly been But my wickedness would have had greater scope. I might have been very hurtful to others and multiplied irreparable evils But the Lord wisely placed me where I could do little harm The few I had to converse with were too much like myself and I was soon brought into abject circumstances
That I was too low to have any influence I was rather shunned and despised than imitated They are being few even of the Negroes themselves During the first year of my residence among them, but thought themselves too good to speak to me I was as yet an outcast lying in my blood Ezekiel 17 and to all appearance exposed to perish
But the Lord beheld me with mercy He did not strike me to hell as I justly deserved He passed by me when I was in my blood and said unto me live but the appointed time for the manifestation of his love to cover all my iniquities with the robe of his righteousness and To admit me to the privileges of his children was not till long afterwards
Yet even now he bid me live and I can only ascribe it to his secret upholding power That what I suffered in a part of this interval did not bereave me either of my life or senses Yet as by these sufferings the force of my evil example and inclinations was lessened I have reason to account them amongst my mercies It may not perhaps be a miss to digress for a few lines and
Give you a very brief sketch of the geography of the circuit. I was now confined to Especially as I may have frequent occasion to refer to places I shall now mention for my trade afterwards when the Lord gave me to see better days Was chiefly to the same places and with the same persons where and by whom I have been considered as upon a level with their meanest slaves
from Cape de Verde The most western point of Africa to Cape Mount the whole coast is full of rivers the principal are Gambio Rio Grande Sierra Leone and Sherbro of the former as it is well known and I was never there. I need say nothing The Rio Grande like the Nile divides into many branches near the sea on
The most northernly called Cotéu the Portuguese have a settlement The most southern branch known by the name of Rio Nuna Is or then was the usual boundary of the white man's trade northward? Sierra Leone is a mountainous peninsula uninhabited and I believe inaccessible upon account of the thick woods
Accepting those parts which lie near the water the river is large and navigable From hence about 12 leagues to the southeast are three contiguous islands called the Bananos About 20 miles in circuit. This was about the center of the white man's residence Seven leagues further the same way lie the plantain three small islands Two miles distant from the continent at the point which form one side of the Chabris
This river is more properly a sound Running within long Island and receiving the confluence of several large rivers rivers unknown to song But far more deeply engraved in my remembrance than the Po or Tiber The southern most of these has a very peculiar course Almost parallel to the coast so that in tracing it a great many leagues upwards
It will seldom lead one above three miles and sometimes not more than half a mile from the seashore Indeed I know not but that all these rivers may have communications with each other and with the sea in many places Which I have not remarked if you cast your eyes upon a large map of Africa while you are reading this you will have a General idea of the country I was in So the maps are very incorrect
Most of the places I have mentioned are Inserted and in the same order as I have named them My new master had formerly resided near Cape Mount, but now he settled at the plantains Upon the largest of the three islands. It is a low sandy island about two miles in circumference and almost covered with palm trees We immediately began to build a house and to enter upon trade
I had now some desire to retrieve my lost time and to exert diligence in what was before me and He was a man with whom I might have lived tolerably well if he had not been soon influenced against me But he was much under the directions of a black woman who lived with him as a wife She was a person of some consequence in her own country and he owed his first rise to her interest This woman I know not for what reason
Was strangely prejudiced against me from the first and what made it still worse for me Was a severe fit of illness which attacked me very soon Before I had opportunity to show what I could or would do in his service I was sick when he sailed in a shallop to Rio Nuna and he left me in her hands at First I was taken some care of
But as I did not recover very soon she grew weary and entirely neglected me I had sometimes not a little difficulty to procure a draft of cold water when burning with a fever My bed was a mat spread upon a board or chest and a log of wood my pillow When my fever left me and my appetite returned I would gladly have eaten but there was no one gave unto me She lived in plenty herself, but hardly allowed me sufficient to sustain life
Except now and then when in the highest good humor She would send me victuals in her own plate after she had dined and this so greatly was my pride humbled I received with thanks and eagerness as the most needy beggar does an alms Once I well remember I was called to receive this bounty from her own hand But being exceedingly weak and feeble I dropped the plate
Those who live in plenty can hardly conceive how this loss touched me But she had the cruelty to laugh at my disappointment and though the table was covered with dishes For she lived much in the European manner. She refused to give me any more My distress has been at times so great as to compel me to go by night and pull up roots in the plantation Though at the risk of being punished as a thief which I have eaten raw upon the spot for fear of discovery
The roots I speak of are a very wholesome food when boiled or roasted But as unfit to be eaten raw in any quantity as a potato The consequence of this diet which after the first experiment I always expected and seldom missed Was the same as if I had taken Tartar a medic So that I have often returned as empty as I went
Yet necessity urged me to repeat the trial several times. I have sometimes been relieved by strangers Nay, even by the slaves in the chain who have secretly brought me victuals Where they durst not be seen to do it from their own slender pettance next to pressing want nothing sits harder upon the mind than scorn and contempt and Of this likewise I had an abundant measure
When I was very slowly recovering this woman would sometimes pay me a visit Not to pity or relieve but to insult me She would call me worthless and indolent and compel me to walk Which when I could hardly do she would set her attendance to mimic my motion to clap their hands laugh throw limes at me or if they chose to throw stones as
I think was the case once or twice They were not rebuked but in general though all who depended on her favor must join in her treatment Yet when she was out of sight, I was rather pitied and scorned by the meanest of her slaves At length my master returned from his voyage. I Complained of ill usage, but he could not believe me and as I did it in her hearing I fared no better for it
We did pretty well for a while till a brother trader He met in the river persuaded him that I was unfaithful and stole his goods in the night or when he was on shore This was almost the only vice I could not be justly charged with The only remains of a good education I could boast of was what is commonly called honesty And as far as he had instructed me I had always been true
And though my great distress might in some measure have excused it I never once thought of defrauding him in the smallest matter However, the charge was believed and I condemned without evidence From that time he likewise used me very hardly Whenever he left the vessel I was locked upon deck with a pint of rice for my day's allowance
And if he stayed longer, I had no relief till his return Indeed I believe I should have been nearly starved but for an opportunity of catching fish sometimes When fouls were killed for his own use I seldom was allowed any part But the entrails to bait my hooks with and at what we called slack water That is about the changing of the tides when the current was still I used generally to fish
What other times it was not practical and I very often succeeded if I saw a fish upon My hook my joy was little less than any other person may have found in the accomplishment of the scheme He had most at heart Such a fish hastily boiled or rather half burnt without sauce salt or bread has afforded me a delicious meal If I caught none I might if I could
Sleep away my hunger till the next return of slack water and then try again Nor did I suffer less from the inclement sea of the weather and the want of clothes The rainy season was now advancing my whole suit was a shirt a pair of trousers a Cotton handkerchief instead of a cap and a cotton cloth About two yards long to supply the want of upper garment and thus a countred
I have been exposed for 20 30 perhaps nearly 40 hours together in incessant rains Accompanied with strong gales of wind without the least shelter when my master was on shore I Feel to this day some faint returns of the violent pains. I then contracted The excessive cold and wet I endured in that voyage and so soon after I had recovered from a long sickness Quite broke my constitution and my spirits the latter was soon restored
But the effects of the former still remain with me as a needful memento of the service and wages of sin In about two months we returned and then the rest of the time I remained with him was chiefly spent at the plantains Under the same regimen as I had already mentioned my haughty heart was now brought down Not to a wholesome repentance not to the language of the prodigal This was far from me, but my spirits were sunk. I lost all resolution and almost all reflection
I had lost the fierceness which fired me when on board the Harwick and Which made me capable of the most desperate attempts, but I was no further changed than a tiger tamed by hunger Remove the occasion and he will be as wild as ever One thing though strange is most true Though destitute of food and clothing
Depressed to a degree beyond common wretchedness. I could sometimes collect my mind to mathematical studies I had bought borrows Euclid at Plymouth and it was the only volume I brought on shore It was always with me and I used to take it to remote corners of the island By the seaside and draw my diagrams with a long stick upon the sand Thus I often beguiled my sorrows
It almost forgot my feeling and thus without any other assistance I made myself in a good measure master of the first six books of Euclid January 17 1763 I am etc. end of letter five
