menu_book Chapter 4

Chapter 4 of But Gentleman Mary Burnett's by Anita Luce. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Read by Jen Broda. Chapter 4 Well, I always think that when a young girl of sixteen is thoughtless about what is going

to happen to her in a carnival company, she is beginning to start toward the edge of a brink. And it seems that Dorothy had already made a chum out of the company's snake eater who went by the nickname of Curly. So when she had to choose between the attentions of a wealthy deputy sheriff and the company

of someone whose financial condition consisted of a box full of eating snakes, Dorothy never hesitated to do the wrong thing. And finally the deputy sheriff became worried about Dorothy and went to Curly himself and told him that he ought to be ashamed to be constantly seen with a young girl who was just beginning to unblossom because it was putting evil thoughts into everybody's mind.

Well Curly blushed very much, for a snake eater. But he told the deputy sheriff that he and Dorothy put in all of their time having laughs together, so he had never thought about evil. But Curly thanked the deputy sheriff for putting it into his mind and promised that he would try to do better in the future.

And the result was that the next time Curly encountered Dorothy, he looked at her and looked at her with quite a new look and he finally remarked, Well Mug, I guess you're grown up. Well it seems that part of Curly's occupation in the carnival company was to take a lot of handbills advertising the street fair to the farthest corner of every town and litter

up the sidewalks with them. So this day it happened to be springtime and the weather was delightful, so Curly invited Dorothy to go along too. But when they reached the residential quarter, he threw all of the handbills in an ash can and invited Dorothy to take a walk in the country instead.

Well they took a streetcar and got off at the end of the line in the country and the sun was shining and the sky was full of beautiful birds and the grass was full of beautiful violets and the environment would have made almost anybody think about love, except a girl like Dorothy. I mean she is just the opposite to a girl like I, because when I am alone with a gentleman

in almost any environment, I always keep in mind that something might happen. Well finally Curly began to ask Dorothy, in quite an offhand manner, what she thought of the home life of Mr. and Mrs. Al Livino, because it seems that Curly thought it was ideal, even if it did take place in a tent. But Dorothy told Curly that was because he did not have to live in the tent with them,

because as far as she was concerned, she had just about reached the end of her endurance. And someday when Al Livino called Pearl Livino, Lambie Pie, for the 29th time in one day, she was going to make violent use of a rock. Well then Curly tried to explain to Dorothy that practically everybody feels like the Livinos sometime in their life, and the only difference between the Livinos and everybody

else was that the Livinos went right on feeling that way. But Dorothy told Curly that if he ever noticed her getting into any such a condition, she hoped he would train one of his snakes to bite her. Well then Curly held his tongue for quite a while. But after a while he told Dorothy he supposed, after all, that she was too young to be talking

about any such a matter yet, so they might as well go back to the fairgrounds. But all the way back to the fairgrounds, Curly seemed to be quite depressed, because he never spoke a word. And then Dorothy started in to think. And then Dorothy says she started in to wonder if she would ever reach the point to falling

in love with somebody and be just as disgusting as Pearl Livino. Well, after all, it was springtime, and the wild violets smelled quite a lot, and Dorothy says that finally she began to wonder what it would be like to have some big bozo grab you and give you a good smack. And such a way of putting it only shows how Dorothy's thoughts can be unrefined even

on the subject of love. Well, Dorothy kept on thinking, until she says she finally came to a conclusion that she had heard so much about that love racket that it was about time she gave it a whirl, and found out for herself if it had been over-advertised. And I really suppose you could not blame Dorothy for being skeptical, because she had spent

her whole life among people who advertised to eat snakes or give away jackknives, and never lived up to their advertisement. Well, when Dorothy decided to do it, she says that the only one she could think of who would be interested was the deputy sheriff, for Curly never entered her mind as romance. And by the time they got back to the fairgrounds, the deputy sheriff was there, as usual, sitting

under the back flap of the Lovino's tent, making a pretense of helping Mrs. Lovino shell peas, but in reality he was looking in all directions for Dorothy. So as long as Dorothy had made up her mind to find out about things, she got rid of Curly and gave the deputy sheriff a kind word, for the first time since he had started to follow the carnival company, and she ended up by making an engagement to go to the cinema in

town with him that night. So when night time came, Dorothy deserted the waffle machine, as usual, and went to town with the deputy sheriff. And it really was quite a coincidence, for the cinema was all about love, and the electric piano played Kiss Me Again, and Dorothy finally reached the point where she decided to let

the deputy sheriff hold her hand. And Dorothy says that she would give a dollar to know what he got out of it, because as far as she was concerned, she had just as soon hold one of her own waffles that got left out in the rain. So Dorothy kept saying to herself, it has got to be a hell of a lot better than this,

or the Lovino's haven't got a leg to stand on. But Dorothy decided not to be hasty until she had given the experiment a good trial, and she made up her mind that before she got through that night, she would let the deputy sheriff kiss her. Well, by the time they walked back to the fairgrounds, everything was deserted, and

it was quite dark except for the moonlight. So they stopped in front of the Lovino's tent, and Dorothy says she let the deputy on about how beautiful girlhood was, especially when a girl started in to get toward womanhood. So when he finished talking himself out, she gritted her teeth and let the deputy sheriff kiss her.

And after it was all over, Dorothy says she felt like a little boy who had just found out that Santa Claus was the Sunday school superintendent. Well, it seems that all of the time, Curly was hiding behind the tent, waiting to see if Dorothy got home safe. And when she let the deputy sheriff kiss her, he stepped out and told Dorothy to get to

bed quite harshly. And then Curly held a long conversation walking around the fairgrounds in the dark with the deputy sheriff. Well, the next morning, the deputy sheriff appeared and told Mrs. Lovino that he had telegraphed for his mother to come and get Dorothy, and that he and his mother would

take her to their home in San Diego and send her to school. And when she was educated up to it, they would see what they would see, because his object was matrimony. Well, when Dorothy heard the news, she realized that it was nothing but the work of Curly. So she went to hunt him up and found him sitting alone in his canvas snake pit.

So Dorothy says she started to give him hell for making an old lady like the deputy sheriff's mother take a long ride on a railroad train for a joke that was not even funny, because Dorothy could not even imagine going away with that deputy sheriff. Well, then it became Curly's turn to give Dorothy an argument, and he told her that, Even if she had not noticed it, all of her friends in the carnival company worried about

her a lot, because it seems that she had turned out to be nothing but a problem. And as far as Curly himself was concerned, he had just about given up the answer. Because how can any girl who could hold such an innocent conversation with him about life in the morning and then go for that deputy sheriff the way Dorothy went for him the very same night in the dark almost made Curly believe that he did not understand women.

And Dorothy tried her best to think of an explanation, but there did not seem to be any. So then Curly said that, anyhow, Dorothy ought to be learning about morals, and he had begun to realize that a carnival company was no place to do it in, because hardly anything they did in a carnival company was honest.

And even Dorothy herself had gotten in the habit of stealing the bill posters paste to make waffles out of, which was no foundation for any young girl's character. So then Curly went on to say that he did not think a great deal of the deputy sheriff's brain power, but anyway, he was prominent and wealthy, and a young girl would be safe with his mother, or Al Livino's illustrated songs had given him a bum steer.

So Curly told Dorothy she must show appreciation and go with them for a couple of years and learn truth and honesty and then, if she could not stand them any longer, she could always run away and give them the slip. Well Dorothy begged Curly and begged him to let her stay with the carnival company, and she promised that she would reform and even put an egg in the waffle dough.

But then it came out that Curly himself was leaving the carnival company, because it seems that Curly had begun to realize that snake-eating hardly ever got anyone anywhere, and he said that if he had only thought of it before, he might have done differently, and he might have had something to offer a girl himself. But he said that he had sent three dollars to Kansas City for a thousand German whetstones,

and as soon as they arrived, he was going to strike out alone in the world and make a man of himself. Well, when Dorothy heard that Curly was going to leave, she realized that her street fair days were over, because she could not stand living with the Livinos without any comic relief.

So everything seemed to work out toward one end, and Dorothy finally had to promise Curly that she would wait for the deputy sheriff's mother, and look her over, and, if they seemed to be able to stand each other, she would give it a trial. But it seemed quite peculiar that all of the time, the deputy sheriff kept trying to get Dorothy back of some tent or other and give her talks.

And Dorothy says she never listened to such a conglomeration of religion and poetry spoken by a man who couldn't keep his hands off a girl. And Dorothy did not know whether to mention it to Curly or not, but she was so ashamed of being such a problem that she decided she ought not to make people any more trouble. Well, the morning the deputy sheriff's mother arrived, Dorothy, Curly, the Livinos, and

the deputy sheriff went down to the station to meet her. And when she got off the train, she turned out to be a small-sized lady who looked quite And the deputy sheriff rushed up and grabbed her and kissed and kissed her. And Dorothy said that the way he went on about a mother would have made an Irish tenor sound like an ungrateful son.

And it turned out that the whole carnival company were more than delighted with her, because nothing touches the heart of a carnival company like somebody's mother. And Al Livino went from one concession to another, telling everybody, in quite a hearty voice, that, The deputy sheriff's mother was a sweetheart.

So that very afternoon, the deputy sheriff went out and arrested Doc at last, and everything was ready to start for San Diego the next day. Well, the carnival company felt quite depressed, because Dorothy had been with them for years, and they gave her a going-away party in the main tent with Pearl Livino's homemade cake and lemonade and a going-away present of a large-sized Bible to show a deputy sheriff's

mother what kind of people they have in a carnival company. And they all cried and kissed Dorothy and became quite sentimental on the subject of a mother. And they gave Dorothy good advice, to always do what mother said. And Dorothy seemed to note that the deputy sheriff talked so much that his mother never

got a chance to say anything. But so long as everybody was so full of satisfaction, Dorothy did not like to spoil their fun by making remarks. So she held her tongue, and before she hardly knew it, it was almost train time to be taken away to San Diego.

And then Dorothy realized at last that she had to say goodbye to Curly. So Curly asked Dorothy to sneak out of the back flap with him, and they held their last conversation together. Well, Curly made Dorothy walk towards the snake pit in quite an offhand manner, and when he got Dorothy alone in there, he presented her with a going-away present of an armadillo

basket. And an armadillo basket is the shell of a small-sized animal that is born at Texas in sections like the elbow of a stovepipe, and is lined in sirice china silk with a ribbon running from his nose to his tail to make the handle. And Dorothy had wanted one for years.

But I think it is very, very cruel to kill all the little armadillos to make armadillo baskets, because I always think that people ought not to kill little animals unless they get something useful, like at least an ermine coat. Well, Dorothy thanked Curly for the armadillo basket, and then she told him that she wanted him to accept her nickel-plated waffle machine so that he could sell it and buy himself a

going-away present of a folding stand to sell the German whetstones off of, to remember her by. But Curly asked Dorothy what kind of a man he would make out of himself if he started in by accepting a present from a girl. And he told her that he had made up his mind to begin selling them off of the sidewalk

and work his way up. Well suddenly they heard everybody calling, Dorothy! in a loud tone of voice, because it was getting late for train time, so they had to run out and be hurried to the station, and everything was such a confusion of getting on board and saying goodbye with all of Dorothy's bundles and the armadillo basket, that Dorothy can only remember Curly when he stood on the

steps of the railroad train saying, So long, pal, if I never see you again, always remember that I think you're hell. And then he had to jump off, because the train was going away. But there was quite a peculiar look on Curly's face, so when Dorothy went into the car, she sat down in a seat by the deputy sheriff's mother and began to have her own thoughts,

and then it suddenly came over Dorothy like a flash that Curly was in love with her. And to think that somebody she had always admired in such a virile way had gone and become soft like Al Levino almost made Dorothy sick to her stomach. End of chapter 4