Chapter 3
Section 3 of Captain Billy's Whiz-Bang, Volume 1, Number 11, August 1920. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Captain Billy's Whiz-Bang, Volume 1, Number 11, August 1920, by W. H. Fawcett. Bold Bad Willie, from the Imperial Review. The teacher was explaining to her class the difference between concrete and abstract.
Concrete, she said, is that which can be seen. Abstract, that which cannot be seen. Now, Willie, give me an example of the concrete. My pants, said Willie. Good, said the teacher.
Now, give me an example of the abstract. Yours, replied Willie. Anticipation. An olive drab uniform. Realization.
an olive drab uniform. Anticipation, that fits as snugly as a glove. Realization, made to fit a fat man. Anticipation, bringing admiring glances from the girls. Realization, bringing smiles and giggles from the girls. Anticipation, parades in which he would proudly march. Realization, KP at which he toiled and sweat. Anticipation, cheered and applauded by the patriotic crowds. Realization, cursed and reviled by the army cooks. Anticipation, honors
won on the battlefields of France. Realization, tortures endured in the SOS in France. Anticipation, for heroic deeds in action. Realization, from battling sergeants, MPs, Louise. Anticipation, Promotion and bars for following duty's call. Realization. Demotion in the brig for duty dodging.
Anticipation. And medals pinned upon his manly chest for valor. Realization. Cooties biting and tickling his manly chest. Anticipation.
His triumphant return home, a hero. Realization. His return home, a doughboy who didn't get to the front. Anticipation. Worshipped by the town folks.
Realization Greeted warmly nevertheless by the town folks. Anticipation His old job back with increased pay. Realization
His old job held down by a slacker. Anticipation The girl he left behind for his wife. Realization The girl he left behind, the slacker's wife.
Anticipation Installed in a cute little cottage built for two. Realization, installed in a cute little cottage with a pair of twins. H.A. Perel Mary had a little ruffle, I discovered it by chance.
Just a dainty little ruffle on the bottom of her underskirt. Sayings of the Famous Bilious Plutocrat Rave on, Red Raven, you shall not split tonight. End of Section 3
