Chapter 4
Section 4 of Captain Billy's Whiz-Bang, Volume 2, Number 20, May 1921. For more information, or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Read by Lauren Fontaine. Captain Billy's Whiz-Bang, Volume 2, Number 20, May 1921, by W. H. Fawcett. Adventures of Sven
What a pity, poor kitty. Dear Uncle Billy, Since I writing you last time, I bane having swell time acting in moving pictures. Last week, I working in sex picture in Hollywood's studio,
and we got one big scene where leading man be banker-faller and get fresh with hired girl while him's wife bane gone out to weekend party. A skull B butler with short tailcoat and gold buttons made of brass When somebody come in a skull, stand by a door and take him's card on pie plate Director, he say, Sven, when banker get fresh
You skull yump in and poke him's nose just like real life with plenty pep Banker get fresh, alright And you bet I show director I am damn good actor I poke leading man so he don't wake up till half past sacks And they don't finish scene till next week
Leading man, he get sore on me And try to get me fired But Ice Skull told him if he end to shut up, I poke him again So he keep still and I don't lose my yob Week behind last
I playing in caveman picture with whiskers glued on Mayface So I look like Smith Bros on cough drop box They got real elephant from Universal City, and glue whiskers all over him too, so he skull be a barskodon. We go out in woods with a lot of other animals and monkey round all day yumping in and out hole and hill some fallers dug for cave. I meet rich woman that say she skull star me just so soon her husband go to Seattle.
She got big limonzine and diamonds, and she shake her shimmy when she walkin'. She been good scout all right, you bout my life, and she say I got fine physic. She like strong faller, and she like me be strong for her. I bout your life, I getting new suit from Foreman Clerk, and silk shirt with blue stripe. She's standing in good with assistant director, and get me good yobbs right long.
I meet four more Swedes here in pictures, and they take me to place one night they call Wild Party, and I drink some cocktail I made out of prune use and scones liniment. When I got more news, I skull let you know right off. Moving picture game being good bet for feller with plenty pep. Goodbye, Sven's Peterson.
Postchips If you see my brother Olaf, tell him I say bootleg business been pretty good out here just now, and if he want to come out, I skul get him in on ground floor, S.P. What a pity, poor kitty. There was a young man from the city who met what he thought was a kitty.
He gave it a pat, said nice little cat, and they buried his clothes out of pity. End of section four.
