menu_book Chapter 13

the world's problem was simple he lived in a world that belonged to someone else they saw tam's shabby clothing and the small weather-beaten bag he carried and they ordered him aside from the flow of passengers and checked his packet of passports and visas with extreme care they ordered him to wait tam waited a chilly apprehension rising in his throat for fifteen minutes he watched them helplessly finally the spaceport was empty and the huge liner from the outer asteroid rings was being lifted and rolled by the giant hooks and cranes back into its berth for dry dock and repair her curved meteor dented hull gleaming dully in the harsh arc-lights tam watched the creaking cranes and shivered in the cold night air feeling hunger and dread gnawing at his stomach there was none of the elation left none of the great expansive soothing joy at returning to earth after eight long years of hard work and bitterness only the cold corroding uncertainty the growing apprehension times had changed since that night back in eighty seven just how much he hardly dared to guess all he knew was the rumors that he had heard the whispered tales the frightened eyes and the scarred backs and faces

tam hadn't believed them then so remote from earth he had just laughed and told himself that the stories weren't true and now they all welded back into his mind tightening his throat and making him tremble hey sharkey come here tam turned and walked slowly over to the customs official who held his papers everything's in order he said half defiantly looking up at the officer's impassive face there isn't any mistake what were you doing in the ring sharkey the officer's voice was sharp indenture working off my fare back home the officer peered into tam's face incredulously and you come back here he shook his head and turned to the other officer i knew these sharkeys were dumb but i didn't think they were that dumb he turned back to tam his eyes suspicious what do you think you're going to do now tam shrugged uneasily get a job he said a man's got to eat the officers exchanged glances how long you been on the rings eight years tam looked at him anxiously can i have my papers now

a cruel grin played over the officers lips sure he said handing back the packet of papers happy job hunting he added sardonically but remember the ship's going back to the rings in a week you can always sign yourself over for fare i know tam said turning away sharply i know all about how that works he tucked the papers carefully into a tattered breast pocket hefted the bag wearily and began trudging slowly across the cold concrete of the port toward the street and the underground a wave of loneliness almost overpowering in intensity swept over him a feeling of emptiness bleak and hopeless a chilly night wind swept through his unkept blond hair as the automatics led him out into the street and he saw the large dirty new denver underground sign with the arrow at the far side off the road off to the right several miles across the mountain plateau the great capital city loomed up shining like a thousand twinkling stars in the clear cold air tam jingled his last few coins listlessly and started down the downward ramp somewhere down there he could find a darkened corner maybe even a bench where the police wouldn't bother him for a couple of hours maybe after a little sleep he'd find some courage hidden away somewhere just enough to walk into an office and ask for a job

that he reflected wearily as he shovelled into the tunnel would take a lot of courage the girl at the desk glanced up at him indifferent and turned her eyes back to the letter she was typing tam peters continued to stand awkwardly his blond hair rumpled a little crow's feet of weariness creeping around the corner of his eyes slowly he looked around the neat office feeling a pang of shame at his shabby clothes he should at least have found some way to shave he thought some way to take some of the rumple from his trouser legs he looked back at the receptionist and coughed lightly she finished her letter at a leisurely pace and finally looked up at him her eyes cold well i read your ad i'm looking for a job i'd like to speak to mr randall the girl's eyes narrowed and she took him in in a rapid sweeping glance his high pale forehead the shock of mud-blonde hair the thin sensitive face with the exaggerated lines of approaching middle age the slightly misty blue eyes

it seemed to tam that she stared for a full minute and he shifted uneasily trying to meet the cold inspection and failing finally settling his eyes on her prim neatly manicured fingers her lip curled very slightly mr randall can't see you to-day he's busy try again to-morrow she turned back to typing a flat wave of defeat sprang up in his chest the ad said to apply to-day the earlier the better she sniffed indifferently and pulled a long white sheet from the desk have you filled out an application no you can't see mr randall without filling out an application she pointed to a small table across the room and he felt her eyes on his back as he shuffled over and sat down he began filling out the application with great care making the printing as neat as he could with the old-style vacuum pen provided name age sex race nationality planet where born pre revolt experience post revolt experience preference try as he would tam couldn't keep the ancient pen from leaking making an unsightly blot near the center of the form finally he finished and handed the paper back to the girl at the desk then he sat back and waited

another man came in filled out a form and waited too shooting tam a black look across the room in a few moments the girl turned to the man robert stover yeah the man said lumbering to his feet that's me mr randall will see you now the man walked heavily across the room disappeared into the back office tam eyed the clock uneasily still waiting a garry's picture on the wall caught his eyes a large very poor oil portrait of a very stout green man dressed in a ridiculous green suit with a little white turban affair on the top of his head underneath was a little brass plaque with words tam could barely make out abram l farrell nineteen forty seven to nineteen eighty six founder and first president marsport mines inc unto such men as these we look to leadership tam stared at the pitcher his lip curling slightly he glanced anxiously at the clock as another man was admitted into the small back office then another man anger began creeping into tam's face and he fought to keep the scowl away to keep from showing his concern the hands of the clock crept round and then round again it was almost noon not a very new dodge tam thought coldly not very new at all

finally the small cold flame of anger got the better of him and he rose and walked over to the desk i'm still here he said patiently i'd like to see mr randall the girl stared at him indignantly and flipped an intercom switch that peter's application is still out here she said brittily do you want to see him or not there was a moment of silence then the voice on the intercom grated yes i guess so send him in the office was smaller immaculately neat two visiphone units hung on a switchboard at the man's elbow tam's eyes caught the familiar equipment recognized the interplanetary power coils on one then he turned his eyes to the man behind the desk now then what are you after asked the man settling his bulk down behind the desk his eyes guarded revealing a trace of boredom tam was suddenly bitterly ashamed of his shabby appearance the two days stubble on his chin he felt a dampness on his forehead and tried to muster some of the old power and determination into his voice

i need a job he said i've had plenty of experience with radio-electronics and remote-controlled power operations i'd make a good mine operator i can read the man cut in sharply gesturing toward the application with the inkblot in the middle i read all about your experience but i can't use you there aren't any more openings tam's ears went red but you're always advertising he countered you don't have to worry about me working on mars either i've worked on mars before and i can work six seven hours even without a mask or equipment the man's eyebrows raged slightly how very interesting he said flatly the fact remains there aren't any jobs open for you the cold angry flame flared up in tam's throat suddenly forcing out the sense of futility and defeat those other men he said sharply i was here before them that girl wouldn't let me in randall's eyes narrowed amusedly what a pity he said sadly and just think i hired every one of them his face suddenly hardened and he sat forward his eyes glinting coldly get smart peters i think the marsport mines can somehow manage without you you or any other sharkey the men just don't like to work with sharkeys

rage swelled up in tam's chest bitter futile rage beating at his temples and driving away all thought of caution look he grated bending over the desk threateningly i know the law of this system there's a fair employment act on the books it says that men are to be hired by any company in order of application when they qualify equally in experience i can prove my experience randall stood up his face twisted contemptuously get out of here he snarled you've got nerve you have come crawling in here with your law where do you think you are his voice grated in the stale air of the office we don't hire sharkeys law or no law get that now get out of here tam turned his ears burning and strode through the office blindly kicking the open door and almost running into the quiet air of the street outside the girl at the desk yawned and snickered and went back to her typing with an unpleasant grin tam walked the street block after block seething futile rage swelling up and bubbling over curses rising to his lips clipped off with some of the last vestige of self-control

at last he turned into a small downtown bar and sank wearily on to a stool near the door the anger was wearing down now to a sort of empty hopeless weariness dulling his senses exaggerating the hunger in his stomach he had expected it he told himself he had known what the answer would be but he knew that he had hoped against hope against what he had known to be the facts hoped desperately that maybe some one would listen oh he knew the laws all right but he had plenty of time to see the courts in action unfair employment was almost impossible to make stick under any circumstances but with the courts rigged the way they were these days he sighed and drew out one of his last credit coins beer he muttered as the bar-keep looked up the bartender scowled his heavy-set face a picture of fashionable distaste carefully he filled every other order at the bar then he grudgingly set up a small beer mostly foam and flung some small coin change down the bar before tam tam stared at the glass the little proud flame of anger flaring slowly a fat man sitting near by stared at him for a long moment then took a long swill of beer from his glass smarter sharkey what you drink your beer in and get the hell out of here

tam stared fixedly at his glass giving no indication of having heard a word the fat man stiffened a trifle swung around to face him god damn sharky's too good to talk to a guy he snarled loudly what's the matter sharky you deaf tam's hand trembled as he reached for the beer took a short swallow shrugging he set the glass on the bar and got up from his stool he walked out feeling many eyes on his back he walked time became a blur to a mind beaten down by constant rebuff he became conscious of the great weariness of mind and body instinct screamed for rest tam sat up shaking his head to clear it he shivered from the chill of the park the cruel pressure of the bench he pulled up his collar and moved out into the street again there was one last chance cautiously his mind skirted the idea picked it up regarded it warily then threw it down again he had promised himself never to consider it years before in the hot angry days of the revolt even then he had some inkling of the shape of things and he had promised himself bitterly never to consider that last possibility still

another night in the cold out-of-doors would kill him suddenly he didn't care any more didn't care about promises or pride or anything else he turned into a public telephone booth checked an address in the thick new denver book he knew he looked frightful as he stepped on to the elevator felt the cold eyes turn away from him in distaste once he might have been mortified felt the deep shame creeping up his face but he didn't care any longer he just stared ahead at the moving panel avoiding the cold eyes until the fifth floor was called the office was half-way down the dark hallway he saw the sign on the door dimly united continents bureau of employment and down in small letters below planetary division david g tam felt the sinking feeling in his stomach and opened the door apprehensively it had been years since he had seen dave long years filled with violence and change those years could change men too tam thought fearfully they could even make the greatest men change he remembered briefly his promise to himself made just after the revolt never to trade on past friendships never to ask favors of those men he had known before and befriended

with a wave of warmth the memory of those old days broke through those days when he had roomed with david hawk the long probing talks the confidences the deep rich knowledge that they had shared each other's dreams and ideals that they had stood side by side for a common cause though they were such different men from such very different worlds ideals had been cheap in those days talk easy but still tam knew that dave had been sincere a firm stout friend he had known then the sincerity of the big lad's quiet voice felt the rebellious fire in his eyes they had understood each other then deeply sympathetically in spite of the powerful barrier they sought to tear down the girl from the desk caught his eye looked up from her work without smiling yes my name is tam peters i'd like to see mr hawk his voice was thin reluctant reflecting overtones of the icy chill in his chest so much had happened since those long dead days so many things to make men change the girl was grinning her face like a harsh mask you're wasting your time she said her voice brittle

anger flooded tam's face listen he hissed i didn't ask for your advice i asked to see dave hawk if you choose to announce me now that's fine if you don't see fit then i'll go in without it and you won't stop me the girl stiffened her eyes angry you'd better not get smart she snapped watching him warily there are police in the building you'd better not try anything or i'll call them that's enough miss jackson the girl turned to the man in the office door her eyes disdainful the man in the doorway a giant with curly black hair above a high intelligent forehead dark brooding eyes gleaming like live coals in a sensitive face tam looked at him and suddenly his knees would hardly support him his voice was a tight whisper dave and then the huge man was gripping his hand a strong arm around his thin shoulders the dark brooding eyes soft and smiling tam tam it's been so damn long man oh it's good to see you tam why the last i heard you'd taken passage to the rings years ago weakly tam stumbled into the inner office sank into a chair his eyes overflowing his mind a turmoil of joy and relief the huge man slammed the door to the outer office and settled down behind the desk sticking his feet over the edge beaming

where have you been tam you promised you'd look me up any time you came to new denver and i haven't seen you in a dozen years he fished in a lower drawer drink no no thanks i don't think i could handle a drink tam sat back gazing at the huge man his throat tight you look bigger and better than ever dave dave hawk laughed a deep bass laugh that seemed to start at the soles of his feet couldn't very well look thin and wan he said he pushed a cigar-box across the desk here light up i'm on these exclusively these days remember how you tried to get me to smoke them back at the university how you couldn't stand cigarettes said they were for women a man should smoke a good cigar you finally converted me tam grinned suddenly feeling the warmth of the old friendship swelling back yes i remember you were smoking that rotten corn-cob then because old prof tennelly smoked one that you could smell in the back of the room and in those days the prof could do no wrong dave hawk grinned broadly settled back in his chair as he lit the cigar yes i remember still got that corn-cob around somewhere he shook his head his eyes dreamy

good old prof tenley one in a million there was an honest man tam they don't have em like that in the colleges these days wonder what happened to the old goat he was killed said tam softly just after the war got caught in a revolt riot and he was shot down dave looked at him his eyes suddenly sad a lot of honest men went down in those riots didn't they that was the worst part of the revolt there wasn't any provision made for the honest men-the really good men he stopped and regarded tam closely what's the trouble tam if you'd been going to make a friendly call you'd have done it years ago you know this office has always been open to you tam stared at his shoe carefully choosing his words lining them up in his mind a frown creasing his forehead i'll lay it on the line he said in a low voice i'm in a spot that passage to the rings wasn't voluntary i was shanghaied onto a freighter and had to work for eight years without pay to get passage back i'm broke and i'm hungry and i need to see a doctor well hell the big man exploded why didn't you holler sooner look tam we've been friends for a long time you know better than to hesitate he fished for his wallet here i can let you have as much as you need a couple hundred

no no that's not what i'm getting at tam felt his face flush with embarrassment i need a job dave i need one bad dave sat back and his feet came off the desk abruptly he didn't look at tam i see he said softly a job he stared at the ceiling for a moment tell you what he said the government's opening a new uranium mine in a month or so going to be a big project they'll need lots of men on mercury tam's eyes fell a lump growing in his throat mercury he repeated dully why sure tam good pay chance for promotion i'd be dead in six months on mercury tam's eyes met dave's trying to conceal the pain you know that as well as i do dave dave looked away oh the docs don't know what they're talking about you know perfectly well that they do i couldn't even stand venus very long i need a job on mars dave or on earth yes said dave hawk sadly i guess you're right he looked straight at tam his eyes sorrowful the truth is i can't help you i'd like to but i can't there's nothing i can do tam stared the pain of disillusionment sweeping through him nothing you can do he exploded

but you're the director of this bureau you know every job open on every one of the planets i know and i have to help them get filled but i can't make any one hire tam i can send applicants and recommendations till i'm blue in the face but i can't make a company hire he paused staring at tam oh hell he snarled suddenly his face darkening let's face it tam they won't hire you nobody will hire you you're a sharkey and that's all there is to it they aren't hiring sharkeys and there's nothing i can do to make them tam sat back as if he had been struck the color draining from his face but the law dave you know there's a law they have to hire us if we apply first and have the necessary qualifications the big man shrugged uneasily sure there's a law but who's going to enforce it tam looked at him a desperate tightness in his throat you could enforce it you could if you wanted to the big man stared at him for a moment then dropped his eyes looked down at the desk somehow this big body seemed smaller less impressive i can't do it tam i just can't they'd have to listen to you tam's face was eager you've got enough power to put it across the court would have to stick to the law i can't do it dave drew nervously on his cigar and the light in his eye seemed duller now if it were just me i wouldn't hesitate a minute

but i've got a wife a family i can't jeopardize them dave you know it would be the right thing oh the right thing be damned i can't go out on a limb i tell you there's nothing i can do i can let you have money tam as much as you need i could help you set up in business maybe or anything but i can't stick my neck out like that tam sat stiffly coldness seeping down into his legs deep in his heart he had known that this was what he had dreaded not the fear of rebuff not the fear of being snubbed unrecognized turned out that would have been nothing compared to this change in the honest forthright fearless dave hawk that he had once known what's happened dave back in the old days you would have leapt at such a chance i would have the shoe on the other foot then we talked dave don't you remember how we talked we were friends you can't forget that i know you i know what you believe what you think how can you let yourself down dave hawk's eyes avoided tam's times have changed those were the good old days back when everybody was happy almost everybody but me and a few others at least

it looked that way to you but those days are gone they'll never come back this is a reaction period and the reaction is bitter there isn't any place for fighters now the world is just the way people want it and nobody can change it what do you expect me to do he stopped his heavy face contorted a line of perspiration on his forehead i hate it he said finally but my hands are tied i can't do anything that's the way things are but why tam peters was standing eyes blazing staring at the big man behind the desk the bitterness of long weary years tearing into his voice almost blinding him why is it that the way things are what have i done why do we have this mess where a man isn't worth any more than the color of his skin dave hawk slammed his fist on the desk and his voice roared out of the close air of the office because it was coming he bellowed it's been coming and now it's here there's nothing on god's earth that can be done about it tam's jaw sagged and he stared at the man behind the desk dave i think what you're saying dave you know right well what i'm saying dave hawk roared his eyes burning bitterly oh you have no idea how long i've thought the fight i've had with myself the sacrifices i've had to make

you weren't born like i was you weren't raised on the wrong side of the fence well there was an old old christmas story that i used to read years ago before they burned the sharkey books it was about an evil man who went through life cheating hating and hurting people and when he died he found that every evil deed he had ever done had become a link with a heavy iron chain tied and shackled to his waist and he wore that chain he had built up and he had to drag it and drag it from one eternity to the next his name was marley remember dave you're not making any sense oh yes all kinds of sense because you sharkies have a chain too you started forging it around your ankles back in the classical middle ages of earth year by year you build it up link by link build it stronger heavier you could have stopped it any time you chose but you didn't ever think of that you spread over the world building up your chain assuming that things would always be just the way they were just the way you wanted them to be the big man stopped breathing heavily a sudden sadness creeping into his eyes his voice taking a softer tone

you were such fools he said softly you waxed and grew strong and clever and confident and the more power you had the more you wanted you fought wars and then bigger and better wars until you couldn't be satisfied with gunpowder and t n t any longer and finally you divided your world into two armed camps and brought fury out of her box fought with the power of the atoms themselves you clever sharkies and when the dust settled and cooled off there weren't very many of you left lots of us it was your war remember not very many of you of course there was a revolt then and all the boxed up driven in hatred and bloodshed boiled up over and over and you sharkies at long last got your chain tied around your waists you were a long long time building it and now you can wear it tam's face was chalky dave there were some of us you know there were many of us that hated it as much as you did before the revolt some of us fought some of us at least tried the big man nodded his head bitterly you thought you tried sure it was the noble thing to do the romantic thing the good thing to do but you didn't really believe it i know i thought there was some hope back then some chance to straighten things out without a revolt for a long time i thought that you and those like you really meant all you were saying

i thought somehow we could find an equal footing an end to the hatred and bitterness but there wasn't any end and you never really thought there ever would be that made it so safe it would never succeed so when things were quiet it was a nice idea to toy around with this equality for all a noble project that couldn't possibly succeed but when things got hot it was a different matter he stared at tam his dark eyes brooding oh it wasn't just you tam you were my best friend even though it was hopeless futile friendship you tried you did the best you could i know but it just wasn't true tam when it came to the pinch to a real jam you would have been just like the rest basically it was built up in you drummed into you until no amount of fighting could ever scour it out dave hawk stood up walked over to the window staring out across the great city tam watched him the blood roaring in his ears hardly able to believe what he had heard from the big man fighting to keep his mind from sinking into total confusion

somewhere a deep voice within him seemed to be struggling through the conformation telling him that dave hawk was right that he really never had believed suddenly dave turned to him his dark eyes intense look tam he said quickly urgently there are jobs you can get go to mercury for a while work the mines not long just for a little while out there in the sun then you can come back tam's ears burned fierce anger suddenly bursting in his mind a feeling of loathing never he snapped i know what you mean i don't do things that way that's a coward's way and by god i'm no coward but that would be so easy tam dave's eyes were pleading now please tam's eyes glinted no dice i've got a better idea there's one thing i can do it's not very nice but at least it's honest and square i'm hungry there's one place where i can get food even sharkies get food there and a bed to sleep in and books to read maybe even some sharky books and maybe some paper to write on he stared at the big man oddly his pale eyes feverish yes yes there's one place i can go and get plenty to eat and get away from this eternal rottenness dave looked up at him his eye suspicious where do you mean prison said tam peters oh now see here let's not be ridiculous

not so ridiculous snapped tam his eyes brighter i figured it all out before i came up here i knew what you were going to say sure go to mercury tam work in the mines awhile well i can't do it that way and there's only one other answer but tam oh it wouldn't take much you know how the courts handle sharkeys just a small offense to get me a few years then a couple of attempts to break out and i'll be in for life i'm a sharkey remember people don't waste time with us tam you're talking nonsense good lord man you have no freedom no life what freedom do i have now tam snarled his voice growing wild freedom to starve freedom to crawl on my hands and my knees for a little bit of food i don't want that kind of freedom his eyes grew shrewd shifted slyly to dave hawk's broad face just a simple charge he said slowly like assault for instance criminal assault it has an ugly sound doesn't it dave that should give me ten years his fists clenched at his side yes criminal assault is just what ought to do the trick the big man tried to dodge but tam was too quick his fists caught dave in the chest and tam was on him like fury kicking scratching snarling pounding

dave choked and cried out tam for god's sake stop a blow caught him in the mouth choking off his words as tam fought all the hate and bitterness of long weary years translated into scratching swearing desperation dave pushed him off like a bear trying to disentangle a maddened dog from his fur but tam was back at him fighting harder the door opened and miss jackson's frightened face appeared briefly then vanished finally dave lifted a heavy fist drove it hard into tam's stomach then sadly lifted the choking gasping man to the floor the police came in seconds later clubs drawn eyes wide they dragged ham out one on each arm dave sank back his eyes filling a sickness growing in the pit of his stomach in court a sharkey would draw the maximum sentence without leniency ten years in prison dave leaned forward his face in his hands tears running down his black cheeks sobs shaking his broad heavy shoulders why wouldn't he listen why couldn't he have gone to mercury only a few months not long enough to hurt him why couldn't he have gone and worked out in the sun got that hot sun down on his hands and face not for long just for a little while two or three months and he'd have been dark enough to pass

End of Marley's Chain. Recording by Kirk Ziegler, Ogden, Utah. Voiceovers by Kirk.com.