menu_book Chapter 14

the first chapter fourteen lady davenant was at the far end of the room engrossed churchill feared by the newspaper as he approached she laid it down and said how scandalous some of these papers have become but it is the fault of the taste of the age those who live to please must please to live Horace was not sure whether he was cut or not but he had the presence of mind not to look hurt He drew nearer to lady davenant Seated himself and taking up a book as if he was tired of folly to which he had merely

Condescended he sat and read and then sat and thought the book hanging from his hand The result of these profound thoughts he gave to the public not to the aide-de-camp No more of the little pop-gum pellets of wit, but now was brought out reason and philosophy In a higher tone he now reviewed the literary philosophical and political world with touches of la bruyere and

Rochefoucault in the characters he drew and in the reflections he made and In air too of sentimental contrition for his own penetration and fine moral sense which compelled him to see and to be annoyed by the faults of such superior men the analysis he made of every mind was really perfect in one respect not a grain of bad but was separated from the good and held up clean and clear to public view and as an anatomist he showed such knowledge both of the brain and of the heart such an admirable acquaintance with all their diseases and handled the probe and the scalpel so well with such a practised hand. Well, really, this is comfortable, said Lord Davenant, throwing himself back in his armchair.

True English comfort to sit at ease and see all one's friends so well dissected. Happy to feel that it is our duty to our neighbour to see him well cut up, ably anatomised for the good of society, and when I depart, when my time comes, as come it must nobody is to touch me but professor churchill it will be a satisfaction to know that i shall be carved as a dish fit for gods not hewed as a carcass for hounds so now remember cecilia i call on you to witness i hereby being of sound mind and body leave and bequeath my character with all my defects and deficiencies whatsoever and all my singular curious diseases of the mind of which I may die possessed, wishing the same many for his sake, to my good friend,

Dr. Horace Churchill, professor of moral, philosophic, and scandalous anatomy, to be by him dissected at his good pleasure for the benefit of society. Many thanks, my good Lord, and I accept your legacy for the honour, not the value of the gift, which every body must be sensible is nothing, said Churchill with a polite bow. absolutely nothing i shall never be able to make anything of it try try my dear friend answered lord davenant try don't be modest that would be difficult when so distinguished said beauclerk with an admirable look of proud humility

distinguished mr horace churchill assuredly is said lady davenant looking at him from behind her newspaper distinguished above all his many competitors in this age of scandal he has really raised the art to the dignity of a science satire scandal and gossip now hand in hand the three new graces all on the same elevated rank three formerly considered as so different and the last left to our inferior sex but now surely to be a male gossip is no reproach oh lady davenant male gossip what an expression what a reality male gossip tom sur moi le ciel cried churchill pour vous que je me venge always understood pursued lady davenant but why be so afraid of the imputation of gossiping mr churchill it is quite fashionable and if so quite respectable you know and in your style quite grand

and gossiping wonders at being so fine malice to be hated needs but to be seen and now when it is elegantly dressed we look upon it without shame or consciousness of evil we grow to dote upon it so entertaining so graceful so refined when vice loses half its grossness it loses all its deformity humanity used to be talked of when our friends were torn to pieces but now there is such a philosophical perfume thrown over the whole operation that we are irresistibly attracted how much we owe to such men as mr churchill who make us feel detraction virtue he bowed low as lady davenant summoned by her lord left the room and there he stood as one condemned but not penitent if i have not been well sentenced said he as the door closed and made to feel detraction virtue but since lady cecilia cannot help smiling at that i am acquitted and encouraged to sin again the first opportunity but lady davenant shall not be by nor lord davenant either lady cecilia sat down to write a note and mr churchill walked round the room in a course of critical observation on the pictures of which as of everything else he was a supreme judge

at last he put his eye and his glass down to something which singularly attracted his attention on one of the marble tables pretty said lady cecilia pretty are not they though one's so tired of them everywhere now those doves doves said churchill what i am admiring are gloves are not they miss stanley said he pointing to an old pair of gloves which much wrinkled and squeezed together lay on the beautiful marble in rather an unsightly lump poor dr v cried helen to cecilia that poor dr v is as absent as ever he is gone and has forgotten his gloves absent oh as ever said lady cecilia going on with her note the most absent man alive too much of that sort of thing i think there is in dr v pursued churchill a touch of absence of mind giving the idea of high abstraction becomes a learned man well enough

but then it should only be slight as a soupçon of rouge which may become a pretty woman all depends on the measure the taste with which these things are managed put on there is nothing managed nothing put on dr v cried helen eagerly her colour rising it is all perfectly sincere true in him whatever it be beauclerc put down his book all perfectly true you really think so miss stanley said churchill smiling and looking superior down i do indeed cried helen charming so young how i do love that freshness of mind impertinent fellow i could knock him down felt beauclerc and you think all dr v s humility true said churchill yes perfectly said helen but i do not wonder you are surprised at it mr churchill she meant no malice though for a moment he thought she did and he winced under beauclerc's smile i do not wonder that any one who does not know dr v should be surprised by his great humility added helen

you are sure that it is not pride that apes humility asked churchill yes quite sure yet said churchill putting his malicious finger through a great hole in the thumb of the doctor's glove i should have fancied that i saw vanity through the holes in these gloves as though the philosopher's cloak of old horace is a famous fellow for picking holes and making much of them miss stanley you see said the aide-de-camp vanity dr v has no vanity said helen if you knew him no vanity whom does miss stanley mean cried the aide-de-camp no vanity that's good who horace mauvais plaisant horace put him by and happily not easily put out of countenance he continued to helen you give the good doctor credit too for all his naivety said churchill he does not want credit for it said helen he really has it

"'I wish I could see things as you do, Miss Stanley.' "'Show him that, Helen,' cried Lady Cecilia, looking at the table beside them, on which lay one of those dioramic prints which appear all in a confusion of lines till you look at them in their right point of view. "'Show him that. It all depends, and so does seeing characters,

on getting the right point of view.' "'Ingenious,' said Churchill, trying to catch the right position. But I can't, I own, then abruptly resuming, Naivety charms me at fifteen. And his eye glanced at Helen, then was retracted,

then returning to his point of view. At eighteen, perhaps may do. And his eyes again turned to Helen. At eighteen, it captivates me quite, and his eye dwelt. But naivety at past fifty, verging to sixty, is quite another thing.

really rather too much for me. I like all things in season, and above all, simplicity will not bear long keeping. I have the greatest respect possible for our learned and excellent friend,

but I wish this could be any way suggested to him, and that he would lay aside this out-of-season simplicity. He cannot lay aside his nature, said Helen, and I am glad of it. It is such a good nature.

Kind-hearted creature he is I never heard him say a severe word of anyone said Lady Cecilia What a sweet man he must be said Horace making a face at which none present not even Helen could forbear to smile His heart I am sure is in the right place always I only wish one could say the same of his wig and Would it be a miss if he sometimes I would not be too hard upon him Miss Stanley

once a fortnight suppose brushed or caused to be brushed that coat of his you have dusted his jacket for him famously Horace I think said the aide-de-camp at this instant the door opened and in came the doctor himself lady Cecilia's hand was outstretched with her note thinking as the door opened that she should see the servant come in for whom she had rung What surprises you also, my good friends, said the doctor, stopping and looking round, in all his native simplicity. My dear doctor, said Lady Cecilia, only we all thought you were gone, that's all. And I am not gone, that's all.

I stayed to write a letter, and am come here to look for— But I cannot find my— Your gloves, perhaps, doctor, you were looking for, said Churchill, going forward, and with an air of the greatest respect and consideration, both for the gloves and for their owner, he presented them, then shook the doctor by the hand, with a cordiality which the good soul thought truly English,

and, bowing him out, added, How proud he had been to make his acquaintance! Au revoir, he hoped, in Park Lane! Oh, you treacherous! cried Lady Cecilia, turning to Horace, as soon as the unsuspecting philosopher was fairly gone. too bad really if he were not the most simple-minded creature extant he must have seen suspected something from your look and what would have become of you if the doctor had come in one moment sooner and had heard you i was really frightened

frightened so was i almost out of my wits said churchill les revenants always frighten one and they never hear any good of themselves for which reason i make it a principle when once i have left a room full of friends especially never never to go back my gloves my hat my coat i'd leave sooner than lose my friends once i heard it said by one who knew the world and human nature better than any one of us once i heard it said in jest but in sober earnest i say that i would not for more than i am worth be placed without his knowing it within earshot of my best friend what sort of a best friend can yours be cried beauclerc much like other people's i suppose replied horace speaking with perfect nonchalance much like other people's best friends whosoever expects to find better i guess will find worse if he live in the world we live in may i go out of the world before i believe or suspect any such thing cried beauclerc rather than have the roman curse light upon me may you survive all your friends and relations may i die a thousand times

who talks of dying in a voice so sweet a voice so loud said provoking horace in his calm well-bred tone for my part i who have the honour of speaking to you can boast that never since i was of years of discretion counting new style beginning at thirteen of course never have i lost a friend a sincere friend never for this irrefragable reason since that non-age never was i such a neophyte as to fancy i had found that lucis natures a friend perfectly sincere how i pity you cried beauclerc if you are in earnest but in earnest you can't be pardon me i can and i am and in earnest you will oblige me mr beauclerc if you will spare me your pity for all things in this world considered said horace churchill drawing himself up i do not conceive that i am much of an object of pity

then turning upon his heel he walked away conscious however half an instant afterwards that he had drawn himself up too high and that for a moment his temper had spoilt his tone and betrayed him into a look and manner too boastful bordering on the ridiculous he was in haste to repair the error not garrick in the height of his celebrity and of his susceptibility was ever more anxious than horace churchill to avert the stroke of ridicule to guard against the dreaded smile as he walked away he felt behind his back that those he left were smiling in silence lady cecilia had thrown herself on a sofa resting after the labour of l'eloquence de billet he stopped and leaning over the back of the sofa on which she reclined repeated an italian line in which was the word pavonegiarsi my dear lady cecilia you who understand and feel italian so well how expressive are some of their words pavoneggiarsi untranslatable

one cannot say well in english to peacock oneself to make oneself like unto a peacock is flat but pavone giasi action passion picture all in one to plume oneself comes nearest to it but the word cannot be given even by equivalents in english nor can it be naturalized because in fact we have not the feeling an englishman is too proud to boast too bashful to strut if ever he peacocks himself it is in a moment of anger not in display the language of every country continued he raising his voice in order to reach lady davenant who just then returned to the room as he did not wish to waste a philosophical observation on lady cecilia the language of every country is to a certain degree evidence record history of its character and manners then lowering his voice almost to a whisper but very distinct turning while he spoke so as to make sure that miss stanley heard

your young friend this morning quite captivated me by her nature nature the thing that now is most uncommon a real natural woman and when in a beauty how charming how delicious when one meets with effusion de coeur a young lady too who speaks pure english not a leash of languages at once and cultivated too your friend is for one does not like ignorance if one could have knowledge without pretension so hard to find the golden mean and if one could find it one might not be nearer to lady cecilia listened for the finishing word but none came it all ended in a sigh to be interpreted as she pleased a look towards the ottoman where beauclerc had now taken his seat beside miss stanley seemed to point the meaning out but lady cecilia knew her man too well to understand him beauclerc seated on the ottoman was showing to helen some passages in the book he was reading she read with attention and from time to time looked up with a smile of intelligence and approbation

what either said horace could not hear and He was the more curious and when the book was put down after carelessly opening others he took it up Very much surprised was he to find it neither novel nor poem many passages were marked with pencil notes of approbation He took it for granted these were beaucler's There he was mistaken they were lady davenant's she was at her work table

table. Horace, book in hand, approached. The book was not in his line. It was more scientific than literary. It was for posterity, more than for the day. He had only turned it over, as literary men turn over scientific books, to seize what may serve for a new simile, or a good allusion. Besides, among his philosophical friends, the book being talked of, it was well to know enough of it to have something to say. And he had said it very well, very judiciously he had praised it among

the elect. But now it was his fancy to depreciate it, with all his might, not that he disliked the author or the work now more than he had done before, but he was in the humour to take the opposite side from Beauclair. So he threw the book from him contemptuously. Rather a slight hasty thing in my opinion said he beaucler's eyes took fire as he exclaimed slight hasty this most noble most solid work solid in your opinion said churchill with a smile deferential slightly

sneering our own opinion is all that either of us can give said beaucler in my opinion it is the finest view of the progress of natural philosophy, the most enlarged, the most just in its judgments of the past and in its prescience of the future, in the richness of experimental knowledge, in its theoretic invention, the greatest work by any one individual since the time of Bacon. And Bacon is under your protection too? Protection? My protection? said Beauclerc.

pardon me i simply meant to ask if you are one of those who swear by lord verulam i swear by no man i do not swear at all not on philosophical subjects especially swearing adds nothing to faith says beauclerc i stand corrected said churchill and i would go further and add that in argument enthusiasm adds nothing to reason much as i admire as we all admire glancing at miss stanley that enthusiasm with which this favoured work has been advocated i could not help speaking warmly cried beauclerc it is a book to inspire enthusiasm there is such a noble spirit all through it so pure from petty passions from all vulgar jealousies all low concerns judge of a book somebody says by the impression it leaves on your mind when you lay it down this book stands that test at least with me i lay it down with such a wish to follow with steps ever so unequal still to follow where it points the way bravo bravissimo hear him hear him print him print him hot press from the author to the author hot press cried churchill and he laughed

like one suddenly awakened from the trance of enthusiasm by the cold touch of ridicule stood beauclerc brought down from heaven to earth and by that horrid little laugh not the heart's laugh but my being ridiculous does not make my cause so and that is a comfort and another comfort you may have my dear granville said lady davenant that ridicule is not the test of truth truth should be the test of ridicule but where is the book continued beauclerc helen gave it to him now mr churchill said beauclerc i am really anxious i know you are such a good critic will you show me these faults blame as well as praise must always be valuable from those who themselves excel you are too good said churchill will you then be good enough to point out the errors for me oh by no means cried churchill don't note me do not quote me i am nobody and i cannot give up my authorities but the truth is all i want to get at said beauclerc let her rest my dear sir at the bottom of her well there she is and there she will be for ever and ever and depend upon it none of our windlassing will ever bring her up such an author as this continued beauclerc would have been so glad to have corrected any error

so every author tells you but i never saw one of them who did not look blank at a list of errata if you knew how little one is thanked for them but you would be thanked now said beauclerc the faults in style at least nay i am no critic said churchill confident in his habits of literary detection but if you ask me said he as he disdainfully flirted the leaves back and forward with a there now and a here now we should not call that good writing You could not think this correct. I may be wrong, but I should not use this phrase. Hardly English, that. Colloquial, I think. And this awkward, ablative absolute never admitted now. thank you said beauclerc these faults are easily mended easily mended say you i say better make a new one who could said beauclerc how many faults you see said helen which i should never have perceived unless you had pointed them out and i am sorry to know them now smiling at helen's look of sincere mortification in contrast at this moment with mr churchill's air of satisfied critical pride lady davenant said why sorry my dear helen no human work can be perfect

mr churchill may be proud of that strength of eye which in such a powerful light can count the spots but whether it be the best use to make of his eyes or the best use that can be made of the light remains to be considered end of volume the first chapter fourteen