Chapter 22
CHAPTER XXII. LONELY MIDNIGHT WALK It was near morning when I entered Mount Bligh, but I did not stop. I travelled all night, and late in the morning came to a respectable-looking farmhouse, which I thought might be occupied by Protestants. I always noticed that their houses were neater and more comfortable than those of the Romanists in the same condition in life. In the present instance I was not disappointed in my expectations.
The lady received me kindly, gave me some breakfast, and directed me to the next village. I walked all day, and near night arrived at St. Mary's, where I called at a house, and asked permission to sit and rest a while. They gave me an invitation to enter, but did not offer refreshments. I did not like to ask for charity if I could avoid it, and I thought it possible they might ask me to stay overnight, but they did not. and after a half hour's rest I rose to depart and thanking them for their kindness inquired how far
it was to the next house they said it was seven miles to the first house and nine to the next village with a sad heart I once more pursued my lonely way soon it began to rain and the night It came on, dark and dismal, cold and stormy, with a high wind that drove the rain against my face with pitiless fury. I entered a thick wood, where no ray of light could penetrate, and at almost every step
I sank over shoes into the mud. Thus I wandered on, reflecting bitterly on my wretched fate. All the superstitious fears which a convent life is so well calculated to produce, again assailed me, and I was frightened at my own wild imaginings. I thought of the nuns who had been murdered so cruelly, and I listened to the voice of
the storm, as to the despairing wail of a lost soul. The wind swept fiercely through the leafless branches, now roaring like a tornado, again rising to a shrill shriek, or a prolonged whistle, then sinking into a hollow murmur, and dying away in a low sob, which sounded to my excited fancy like the last convulsive sigh of a breaking heart.
Once and again I paused, faint and dizzy with hunger and fatigue, feeling as though I could go no further. But there was no alternative. I must go on or perish. And go on I did.
Though, as I now look back on that night's experience, I wonder how I managed to do so. But a kind providence undoubtedly watched over me, and good angels guided me on my way. time in the night, I think it must have been past twelve o'clock, I became so very weary, I felt I must rest a while at all events. It was so dark I could not see a step before me, but I groped my way to a fence, seated myself on a stone with my head resting against the rails,
and in that position I fell asleep. How long I slept, I do not know. I think it must have been some hours. When I awoke, my clothes were drenched with rain, and I was so stiff and lame I could hardly move. But go I must, so I resolved to make the best of it, and hobble along as well as I could. At last I reached the village, but it was not yet morning, and I dared not stop. I kept on till daylight, and as soon as I thought people were up, I went up to a house and rapped. A woman came to
the door, and I asked if she would allow me to go in and dry my clothes, and I would have added, get some breakfast, but her looks restrained me. They were getting breakfast, but did not invite me to partake of it, and I dared not ask for anything to eat. When my clothes were dry, I thanked them for the use of their fire, and inquired how far it was to the next village. They said the next town was Highgate, but they did not know the distance.
My tears flowed freely when I again found myself in the street, cold, hungry, almost sick, and entirely friendless. What should I do? What would become of me? One thought alone gave courage to my desponding heart, buoyed up my sinking spirits, and restored strength to my weary limbs. I was striving for liberty, that priceless boon, so dear to every human heart. I might perhaps obtain it. At least I would try. Nerved to renew effort by thoughts like these, I toiled onward.
All that day I walked without a particle of nourishment. When I reached Highgate, it was eleven o'clock at night, but in one house I saw light, and I ventured to rap at the door. It was opened by a pale but pleasant-looking woman. Kind lady, said I, will you please tell me how far it is to the States? To the States? she exclaimed, and in a moment she seemed to understand both my character and situation.
You are now in Vermont State, said she, but come in, child, you look sad and weary. I at once accepted her offer, and when she asked how far I was travelling, and how I came to be out so late, I did not hesitate to reveal to her my secret, for I was sure she could be trusted. She invited me to spend the remainder of the night, and gave me some refreshment. She was nursing a sick woman, which accounted for her being up so late, but did not prevent her from attending to all my wants, and making me as comfortable as possible.
When she saw that my feet were wounded, badly swollen, and covered with blood and dirt, She procured warm water, and with her own hands bathed, and made them clean with the best toilet soap. She expressed great sympathy for the sad condition my feet were in, and asked if I had no shoes. I told her that my shoes were made of cloth, and soon wore out, that what was left of them I lost in the mud when travelling through the woods in the dark.
She then procured a pair of nice woolen stockings, and a pair of new shoes, some underclothes, and a good flannel skirt, which she begged me to wear for her sake. I accepted them gratefully, but the shoes I could not wear, my feet were so sore. She said I could take them with me, and she gave me a pair of Indian moccasins to wear until my feet were healed. Angel of mercy that she was, may God's blessing rest upon her for her kindness to the friendless wanderer.
The next morning the good lady urged me to stay with her, at least for a time, and said I should be welcome to a home there for the rest of my life. Grateful as I was for her offer, I was forced to decline it, for I knew that I could not remain so near Montreal in safety. She said, the select men of the town would protect me, if they were made acquainted with my peculiar situation. Dear lady, she little knew the character of a Romish priest. Her guileless heart did not
suspect the cunning artifice by which they accomplish whatever they undertake. And those worthy, select men, I imagine, were not much better informed than herself. Sure I am that any protection they could offer me would not, in the least degree, shield me from the secret intrigue, the affectionate, maternal embrace of Holy Mother Church. When she found that, notwithstanding all her offers, I was resolved to go, she put me into a basket, a change of clothing,
the shoes she had given me, and a good supply of food which she gave me for future use. But the most acceptable part of her present was a sun bonnet, for thus far I had nothing on my head but the cap I wore in the convent. She gave me some money, and bade me to go to Swanton, and there, she said, I could take the cars. I accordingly bade her farewell, and basket in hand directed my steps toward the depot some seven miles distant, as I was informed. but I thought it along seven miles as I passed over it with my sore feet, the blood starting at every step.
On my arrival at the depot, a man came to me and asked where I wished to go. I told him I wished to go as far into the state as my money would carry me. He procured me a ticket and said it would take me to St. Albans. He asked me where I came from, but I begged to be excused from answering questions. He then conducted me to the ladies' room, and left me, saying the cars would be along in about an hour.
In this room, several ladies were waiting to take the cars. As I walked across the room, one of them said, in a tone that grated harshly on my feelings, your skirt is below your dress i did not feel very good-natured and instead of saying thank you as i should have done i replied in the most impudent manner well it is clean if it is in sight the lady said no more and i sat down upon a sofa and fell asleep as i awoke one of the ladies said i wonder who that poor girl is i was bewildered and for the moment could not think where i was but i thought i must make some reply and rousing myself i turned to her and said i am a nun if you wish to know and i have just escaped from a convent
she gave me a searching look and said well i must confess you do look like one i often visit in montreal where i see a great many of them and they always look poor and pale will you allow me to ask you a few questions by this time i was wide awake and realized perfectly where i was and the folly of making such an imprudent disclosure i would have given much to recall those few words for i had a kind of presentiment that they would bring me trouble i begged to be excused from answering any questions as i was almost crazy with thinking of the past and did not wish to speak of it the lady said no more for some time but she kept her eye upon me in a way that i did not like and i began to consider whether i had better wait for the cars or start on foot i was sorry for my imprudence but it could not be helped now and i must do the best i could to avoid the unpleasant consequences which might result from it i had just made up my mind to go on when i heard in the far distance the shrill whistle of the approaching train
that train which i fondly hoped would bear me far away from danger and onward to the goal of my desires at this moment the lady crossed the room and seating herself by my side asked would you not like to go and live with me i have one waiting-maid now but i wish for another and if you will go i will take you and give you good wages your work will not be hard will you go where do you go i asked to montreal she replied then i shall not go with you said i no money could induce me to return there again ah said she with a peculiar smile i see how it is but you need not fear to trust me i will protect you and never suffer you to be taken back to the convent i saw that i had made unconsciously another imprudent revelation and resolved to say no more i was about to leave her but she drew me back saying i will give you some of my clothes and i can make them fit you so well that no one will ever recognize you i shall have plenty of time to alter them if they require it for the train that i go in
will not be along for about three hours you can help me and in that time we will get you nicely fixed i could hardly repress a smile when i saw how earnest she was and i thought it a great pity that a plan so nicely laid out should be so suddenly deranged but i could not listen to her flatteries i suspected that she was herself in the employ of the priests and merely wished to get me back that she might betray me she had the appearance of being very wealthy was richly clad wore a gold watch chain bracelets breast-pin ear-rings and many finger-rings all of the finest gold but with all her wealth and kind offers i dare not trust her i thought she looked annoyed when i refused to go with her but when i rose to go to the cars a look of angry impatience stole over her fine features which convinced me that i had escaped a snare the cars came at length and i was soon on my way to st albans i was very sick and asked a gentleman near me to raise the windows he did so and inquired how far i was going
i informed him when he remarked that he was somewhat acquainted in st albans and asked with whom i designed to stop i told him i had no friends or acquaintance in the place but i hoped to get employment in some protestant family he said he could direct me to some gentleman who would he thought assist me one in particular he mentioned as being a very wealthy man and kept a number of servants perhaps he would employ me this gentleman's name was brainard and my informant spoke so highly of the family i immediately sought them out on leaving the cars and was at once employed by mrs brainard as a seamstress here i found a quiet happy home mrs brainard was a kind sympathizing woman and to her i confided the history of my convent life she would not allow me to work hard for she saw that my nerves were easily excited she made me sit with her in her own room a great part of the time and did not wish me to go out alone they had several boarders in the family
and one of them was a brother-in-law to mrs brainard his name i have forgotten it was not a common name but he married mrs brainard's sister and with his wife resided there all the time that i was with them mr brainard was away from home most of the time so that i saw but little of him they had an irish girl in the kitchen named betsey she was a kind pleasant girl and she thought me a strict romanist because i said my prayers so often and wore the holy scapulary around my neck this scapulary is a band with a cross on one side and on the other the letters j h s which signify jesus the saviour of man at this place i professed great regard for the church of rome and no one but mrs brainard was acquainted with my real character and history
when they asked my name i told them that they could call me margaret but it was an assumed name my own for reasons known only by myself i did not choose to reveal i supposed of course they would regard me with suspicion for a while but i saw nothing of the kind they treated me with great respect and no questions were ever asked perhaps i did wrong in changing my name but i felt that i was justified in using any means to preserve my liberty chapter twenty two
