Sunshine by Walter Ben Hare — Free Audiobook

1 01 - Act 1 49:58

Characters Modelia McCann, age 10. Read by Annie Mars. Mrs. Bunch McCann of Detroit. The Mother. Read by M. Lee. Mrs. Sol Whipple, of Whipple's Corners, Connecticut, The Country Lady, read by A&B Suite 13. Miss Tessie Midford, The Mental Case, read by The Story Girl. Mr. Jubba K. Butternip, of Peoria, Illinois, The Old Man, read by Andrew James. Miss Gregory, The Nurse, Read by Diane Castillo. Buddy Brady of New York, The Ballplayer. Read by Thomas Peter. Major Kelly Cott, The Speculator. Read by Alan Mapstone. Jim Anthony, He's Engaged. Read by A.D. Lathron. Sylvia Dean, She's Engaged. Read by Grace Buchanan. Mary, Sunshine. Read by Jen Broda. Man. Read by John B. And Stage Directions. Read by Adrian Stevens.

Scene. The Lawn at Sunshine Sanitarium near New York City. Act One. Morning. Act Two. Afternoon. Act Three. Night. The Prologue. Just before the play begins, the prologue. Mordelia looks in from left. Puts her fingers to her lips and says, Shhh. Piano music very soft. She moves slowly to centre, standing in front of the curtain. Again, she says, Shhh. The piano gives a chord as she curtsies and plays softly as she recites. Ye lords and ladies who have gathered here to see our little comedy of cheer, I bid you welcome to the Sunshine Play. And hoped will drive your troubles away. No Barrymores or Pickfords grace our show, but simple lads and lassies whom you know. And when you leave, each one of you must say, they did their best to make us like the play.

For weeks we've worked for this one night's success. If our probation should our efforts bless, we'll be rewarded if you say, well done. So come with us into the land of fun. And now a final word before we part. We'll give the play, but you must do your part. Don't sit there silent looking bored and glum, and half wishing that you hadn't come. Get in the spirit of the Sunshine Play. Relax and smile, be jovial and gay. Forget the tax, the HCL and fraud, and don't forget to laugh. And to applaud. She then curtsies and exits at left. Act One. Scene. The lawn at the Sunshine Sanitarium. Exterior backing of grove, landscape or sea. About three feet in front of the backdrop is a wall of stone or brick running across the stage from left to right.

This wall is about four feet high and has a centre entrance, preferably arched. This wall adds to the general effect of the scene, but is not necessary. Entrance to a house appears downright. Two steps and two large white columns of Bristol board make an effective entrance. Wood wings at left. Natural boughs and small trees may be attached to the sides of the stage, with the foliage visible to the audience. A similar effect may be arranged behind the wall. Potted plants and flowers appear at the foot of the wall and around the entrance to the house, the pots masked with green leaves. Grass mats and scattered leaves are strewn around the stage. Fancy garden seat or swing down left. Rustic table and chairs down right centre.

Natural vines with artificial flowers attached cover the wall and base of one of the columns. Brilliant yellow light floods the stage from left. As the curtain rises, Mrs. Whipple is discovered seated at the right of the table, sipping a glass of lemonade through a straw. Mrs. McCann is seated at the left of the table, engaged in fancy work. Before the curtain rises, the orchestra plays the first verse and chorus of Olcott's song, Mother McCree, and then repeats the chorus very softly, with Mary singing the words offstage at right. The curtain rises slowly onwards. That shines in your hair. Mrs. Whipple and Mrs. McCann look toward right as Mary finishes the chorus in a clear, sweet voice. Music ends.

That's sunshine. It's as good as a tonic to hear her singing there in the infirmary. They took her away from me last Thursday and put that little red-headed nurse in her place. It gave me a back set. I know it did. I'll be here in the sanitarium for months now. Red-headed persons always get on my nerves. You know how it is. On the verge of tears, I offered the doctor five dollars extra to put Sunshine back on my case, but he wouldn't listen to me. And he gave me a red-headed nurse. I'm getting worse every day, and it's all her fault. Redheaded people are so unsympathetic. When you've gone through with all I've gone through, you won't mind the color of your nurse's hair. They just keep removing my bones, one at a time.

The superintendent said that my case was absolutely unique. They've never had anything like it in the sanitarium before. I can't eat a thing except scraped beef. I can't take any nourishment at all, but I'd be a well woman instead of a weak if I didn't have that red-headed nurse. Tearfully. If your nerves were all on edge like mine are, he'd sympathize with me. Have a good notion to leave here and go to Bingham Hospital. The Bingham Hospital? Oh, my dear. I was there once. They take mental cases. Some of them have to be kept in straight jackets. You may rest assured there's no insanity here. Enter Tessie Mitford from rear left, with both hands raised dramatically. She pauses at rear center. Tell me, have they found a clue yet?

Mrs. Whipple severely. Where's your nurse? I gave her the slip.

It was easy. An aviator came to my window in an aeroplane, and I simply got in and flew away. I always do that on Monday. They are so stupid here. They can't even find a clue. But I'll search, and I'll search until I find something. She comes down center, near the table. I'm sure the man was poisoned, but I can't prove it till I find a clue. Takes Mrs. Whipple's lemonade. Maybe this'll help me. Drinks it greedily.

No, it's too sour. Replaces the empty glass on the table. I'll have to search elsewhere. Crosses to right. I'm going to bore a hole through the floor in the infirmary and climb down into the cellar. Don't tell anyone you saw me. Finger to lips. Shh! Mum's the word. I know where there's a nest of butterflies. Maybe I can find a clue there. Don't tell a soul. At the door of the house. Not a word, girls. Not a word! Shhh! Exit right. Mrs. Whipple sarcastically. Oh no. There's no insanity here. Not at all. She simply has a slight touch of the earache. That's all. They generally have a nurse with her. Poor thing. She imagines she's a detective. She's always looking for a clue. Butternip. Outside, at rear left, peevishly.

Don't jolt me. Don't jolt me, I say. You know I can't bear to be jolted. Enter Nurse Gregory from rear left, wheeling in Mr. Butternip. She wheels him down left-center. I didn't jolt you. Didn't jolt me? I don't know what else you'd call it. I can't bear to be jolted. You jerk this chair up and down. Like a two-horsepower fard. The idea. I'm rolling you just as easy. I'm sick of this wheelchair. Can I get out of it and sit down like an ordinary being? I want to sit over there. Points to seat down left. Do you feel strong enough? I'm as strong as an ox. I bet I'm the strongest man in the sanitarium. Mrs. McCann rises. Mrs. Brown. Mrs. McCann crosses to rear left, looks offstage. My, I hope she doesn't allow her to go in the water.

She's so frail. There, lift me. Nurse lifts him. Careful now. Don't jolt me. Madam, I said not to jolt me. I can stand by myself. Tries it, totters. Catch me, catch me. I want to sit over there. Points to the chair formerly occupied by Mrs. McCann. I want to get a son. Nurse moves him to the chair. He seems very weak and moving about two inches at a time. Steady now. Use your feet more. I can't carry you. Can't you use your feet? Certainly. I can use my feet, but I don't want to be jolted. Slow now. Take it slow. No use to hurry. Take it slow.

Easy now. Let me down gently. Gently now. There. Don't jolt me. Sits. There. Ow! Jumps up wildly with a loud screech of pain. What is it? Butternip jumps wildly around the stage in direct contrast to his former languid manner. Ouch! I'm killed! I'm stabbed! Somebody stabbed me! Rubs hip. Mrs. Whipple rising in alarm. Stabbed you? Weeps loudly. Oh, my derf! My derbs! Mrs. McCann comes down left to his seat. Oh! That chair I sat down on a hornet. Bumble's bee's nest or something. Nurse, feeling in the chair. It's a needle. You're sewing, Mrs. McCann. Hands it to her. I didn't know he was going to sit in my chair. Mr.

Brown. Oh, I'm so sorry. Never mind. It's probably done you a lot of good. Mr. Brown. Good? Good? Nearly killed me. Leaving a needle sticking straight up in a chair. I'd get better treatment at home. This anatomium is killing me. Killing me by inches. Phil's seat of chair sits down carefully, sinks back in seat with a sigh of relief. Nurse, back of the table, takes bottle from pocket and prepares tonic. It's time to take your tonic. See, I have it all ready for you. I don't want to take any tonic. You've got to take it. Mrs. Whipple resumes her seat at right of table. It doesn't do a bit of good. I told the doctor I needed a new tonic. This is a new tonic. Well, I ain't a-gon-a-take-it out here in front of everybody.

Yes, you are. It's the doctor's orders. See? It's not the same color as the other. Try it now. He tastes it cautiously. Oh, I'm a dead man. Makes a horrible face. Say, when some get to the get of all these foul poison occult tonics, it's worse than the other ones. Say. Motions nurse to come nearer. He speaks confidentially. What percentage is it? Percent? You know what I mean. What percent is it? Alcohol, fifty-nine percent. The other one was only thirty-six. Drinks it greedily, smacks his lips. That ain't so bad. Give me another. Not for two hours. Two hours? I'll be dead by that time if I can't have any tonic. That's all that's keeping me alive. I need a tonic every fifteen minutes. I know what I need.

And I know the doctor's orders. Well, give me half a dose, anyhow. Not another drop. Aw, now. If you don't be calm and keep still, you won't get another drop today. Ain't I keeping still? I'm calm. I'm as calm as a baby. Nurse, crossing back of Mrs. Whipple. Are you comfortable, Mrs. Whipple? Mrs. Whipple starts to weep. Comfortable? I'll never be comfortable again. They've put that red-headed nurse on my case, and it's left me all unstrung. I... I... I just can't stand it. Weeps. Give her a dose of my tonic. Now don't think about your nurse. Try and be as cheerful as you can. Cheerful? With my nerves? And that Miss Midford has just been out here and drank up my lemonade. Tearfully. And that doctor allows me only one a day.

Is Miss Midford out again? She went in the infirmary. She's been hunting for clues again. Really, she left me so unstrung. She's getting better, I think. They give her a tonic-heavy twenty minutes. I think I'll begin to hunt clues myself. Buddy, offstage at right, ascends the scale loudly.

Mrs. McCann sewing at left. My gracious, what's that? An operation. Someone is shrieking in pain. The superintendent is giving one of the new patients an examination. Maudelia told me that three men came last night. Young men? Butternet dozes. Two of them are. One is Miss Dean's fiancée. He's come to take her home tomorrow. Buddy heard offstage, ascending the scale as before.

Oh, make him stop. My nerves. I can't stand it. I can't stand it at all. It won't last very long. He must have facial paralysis or something like that. Paralysis, your grandmother. No one that can yell like that is paralyzed. I had to do just the same thing when I had my first examination. That was just before my first operation. After my sixth, my vocal cords were just as normal as anyone's. I can sing those exercises louder than he can. Ha ha! We'll take your word for it. Are you ready to go in now, Mr. Butternip? No, I ain't. I'm ready for my tonic now. Nurse looks at her watch. In one hour and forty minutes. In one hour and forty minutes. I'll be beyond human aid. You're all right, and you know it.

I'll leave you here for ten minutes. Exit in-house at right. Buddy repeats scale louder. Mrs. McCann rising. My, he's growing worse. I wonder what he looks like. Crosses to house and looks in. Can you see him? Mrs. Whipple nods. Is he the young one? He's very good-looking. I suppose he's the one who is going to marry Miss Dean. No wonder they sent him to a sanatorium. He's coming out here, resumes her seat. I am so glad we're getting a few young men about the place. They get tired of homebrew and come up here to get a decent tonic. He's a very aristocratic young man. So refined-looking. Buddy, offstage at right, loudly. Ah, that's all right. I can find my own way. All right, all right. Don't worry about me.

I won't get lost in the tall grass. I'm Jake, all right. What a distinguished voice. Buddy backs in from the house, speaking to somebody off right. Sure, I'll find the doctor. Much obliged to you for what you have done for me. Backs into Mrs. Whipple, who is seated right of table. She screams. Oh, excuse me, lady, I was given the correct imitation of a crab walking backward. Oh, it's perfectly all right. You're one of the new arrivals, aren't you? Righto. You batted a home run the first time. I... what? You guessed right. Back of table. Mrs. McCann, seated left. Are you to be in the infirmary? Buddy, at rear centre. Nah. Do I look like I wasn't firm? Butternip, seated left of table. Then you're to be in one of the cottages again.

Correct again. Sits in the wheelchair at rear centre. Butternip barks at him. Here, here. Be careful of that chair. Buddy runs the chair rapidly toward Butternip, barking like a dog. Woof, woof, woof! Butternip throws up left arm to guard his face. Don't you hit me! Buddy laughs and wheels chair back to rear center. Ha, that's all right. I was just trying to get acquainted, that's all. Mrs. McCann, oratorically. We're glad to welcome you here to the Sunshine Sanitarium, young man. I'm Mrs. McCann, Mrs. Bunch McCann of Detroit. This is my tenth season in the infirmary. You ought to be cured by this time. No, young man, I'll never be cured. Temporary alleviation, I may expect. But an ultimate recovery?

Never. Is that what you got? Take it from me, lady. It's as bad as it sounds, it ain't no wonder this is your tenth season in the infirmary. This is Mr. Butternip. He's from Peoria. No wonder he looks like that. I hope I see you well, young man. You oughta. You're lookin' right at me. And Mrs. Whipple. Mrs. Sol Whipple. Of Whipple's Corners, Connecticut. Lots of great people have come from Whipple's Corners. Well, you couldn't hardly blame them, could you? You were just after an examination, weren't you? I'll tell the world. Say, you oughta heard me sing. We did, thank you. Ah, don't mention it. I'll do it again if you liked it. Wait till I've had my tonic. Then I don't care what happens. The doc said I had some mucus infection, but it didn't seem to infect me in voice any.

It sounded infected. You'd better be thankful you haven't got nerves. I'm a total wreck from nerves. The only nourishment I have is lemonade. You'd better make him give you a tonic like mine. You take five of them, and you won't have enough in your party. Enter Nurse Gregory from right. Nurse at right. The doctor is ready for you, Mrs. McCann. Mrs. McCann rises. I was hoping my little Maudelia would come back before I went in. Mrs. McCann crosses to right. Thank you, nurse. Have you rested long enough for the operation? Oh, yes. I'm quite ready. This will be my ninth. Your ninth? Yes. I'm the only woman in the sanitarium who's had nine operations. Exit into house at right with nurse. Gee, after you've had eight or nine, I don't see what you got left to have taken out.

Resumes his seat in the wheelchair. Mrs. Whipple, tearfully. She's always casting slurs at me because I don't have to be cut up. I guess my nerves are just as important as her bones. I won't put up with it. It's getting unbearable. Nobody knows or cares what I suffer. Weeps loudly. Buddy wheels himself over to Butternip. Say, what's the matter with that old lady anyhow? Is she... taps his forehead. No, no, of course not. She's just nervous and cinnamanal, that's all. She's full of cinnaman. Buddy, shocked. Full of cinnamon? Good night. Not cinnamon, young man. Cinnaman. Buddy wheels himself to Mrs. Whipple, laughing. Ha! Gosh! I thought you said you was full of cinnamon! Mrs. Whipple, paying no attention to him, weeping softly.

Mrs. McCann's gone. She was a good woman, and now she's gone. It's the way of the world. Here today and gone tomorrow. Now she's gone! Weeps loudly. Buddy wheels himself away from her to rear-center in alarm. Say them doctors is forgetting their treatment in her case. She's got it bad. That old lady ain't right at all. Wheels himself down to Butternip. Say, little one, maybe you can tell me where's the guy I'm looking for. Are you speaking to me, sir? I say so. What did you think I was doing? Song and dance? I didn't quite catch you. The superintendent what examined me gave me a note to me own private bone setter. Private bone setter? Sure. Where can I find him at? Find who? The pinch hitter.

The medicine man. The guy who's gonna make me Jake again, get me? I don't understand the word you're talking about. Buddy rises, crosses to Mrs. Whipple. Ye don't get me, lady. Maybe you can wise me to where I can find the hyper-sticker who's gonna get busy on me map. Your map? What map? Buddy to audience. Wouldn't that smear you? Say, can't nobody around here talk United States? We don't understand you, young man. What you want me to do? Talk deaf and dumb on me fingers? You're looking for someone, I gather. You got a great head. You oughta be in a college or somewhere. Sure, I'm looking for the doctor. Mrs. Whipple to Butternip. Oh, he's looking for the doctor. Butternip to Buddy. Which doctor?

There are six of them here. The superintendent tells me to find a bird named Downs. There ain't a bird in the whole sanitarium, except my pole parrot and the chickens. Maybe he's one of them. You're looking for Dr. Downs. You got a great head for facts. Down left, enter Nurse Gregory from the house at right. Time to go in, Mr. Butternip. Time for that tonic yet? Oh, you're just like a child. You'll have to wait seventy minutes. How's Mrs. McCann getting along? Just fine. They're almost through. It wasn't anything very serious. She said it was a matter of life and death. Oh, she always says that. She got me all unstrung. You know my nerves can't stand anything like that. Tearfully. I... I thought I'd never see her again.

Nurse crosses to Butternip. Can you get up? Not at least I've had my tonic. Nurse tries to lift him. Here, let me help you. Steady now, steady young woman. Don't jolt me. I can't bear to be jolted. I'll help you. Bounces Butternip from chair and into wheelchair in a hurry. Butternip howls. Oh, what are you trying to do, murder me? You nearly jolted the life out of me. Nurse wheels him to rear left. That wasn't a jolt. It was just a southpaw jab. This young man is waiting for Dr. Downs. Nurse comes to center. He's busy on a case just now. I'll send Sunshine to you. She's to be your nurse. Nurse goes to the wheelchair at rear left. Sunshine, eh? Say, lady, if it's all the same to you, I'd rather have moonshine.

He says he'd rather have moonshine. Ain't he the funniest fella? Better give him a dozen my tonic. He is wheeled out at rear left. Mrs. Whipple crossing to rear left. Wait till you see Sunshine. She's the finest nurse in the sanitarium. She was on my case until last Thursday. They took her away from me and gave me that little red-headed snip. And my nerves can't abide a redheaded nurse. Buddy follows her. Turn off the faucet or you'll flood the sink. Oh, I just can't stand it. Weeps loudly. I just can't stand it. Exits at rear left, weeping loudly. Buddy follows her to the exit, weeping loudly, then comes to center, laughing. Ha! That old lady is the best imitation of a sp... Sprinkling cot I ever saw in me life.

Sits left of table. Oh, I'm gonna like this place a lot, I don't think. It's so nice and cheerful. I feel about as happy as a three-legged alley cat on the back fence in a thunderstorm. Soft music, chorus of Mother McCree. Mary enters slowly from rear left. She comes down to center. Good morning, sir. Buddy looks up. His look of woe changes to a smile. He smiles broadly and rises. Morning. Miss Gregory said you were looking for Dr. Downs. She said she'd send me sunshine and me, and believe me, little one, that's just what she's done. That's the sort of nickname they have for me. You told her you'd rather have moonshine. That's what they always say. Buddy bashfully twists left foot and looks at it.

I'm kinda... I'm kinda partial to sunshine myself. End music. I believe I'm to be your nurse. Suits me from the ground up. I can stand it if you can. Have you ever had a nurse before? Nope. I had a stenographer and a ribbon saleslady and a high school junior, but you're me first nurse. You seem to have been quite popular with the ladies. Not me. I'm too bashful. I call them up and take them to a dance someplace and then take them home again. The next time I call up, they've all got another date. Something's wrong with me belly average when it comes to the ladies. Did the superintendent give you an examination? Sure. He had me singing scales like a homesick canary. And what was his verdict? He said I had a good constitution, but a rotten voice.

If you're under Dr. Downs, it must be an operation. Some mucus infection. Oh, I'm glad it isn't anything serious. That sounds serious. Just a little whiff of ether, and it will be all over in a minute. All over with me? No, with the infection. Did the examination hurt? Well... It wasn't no home run hit or nothing like that. He stuck something up my head and I told him to cut it out. He said that was just what they intended to do. The doctor won't be ready for you until this afternoon. All you have to do until then is to rest. Say, I'm worse than you think I am. I'll have to have my nurse with me until I have the operation. I've heard that one before, mister. Say, what's your name? Brady. Buddy Brady.

Not the great Buddy Brady. Nah, I don't know if you could just say that. Not the Southpaw. He grins and nods. You are? Say, I want to shake hands with you, Mr. Brady. I've seen you work, and I think you're a wonderful ballplayer. Buddy smiles at her, then turns away bashfully and speaks to the audience. Say, this here sanitarium ain't gonna be so bad after all, I'll tell the bleachers. I saw you pitch in Brooklyn, two years ago, on the Fourth of July. The Fourth of July? Say, don't I remember that game? It was a man on second and nobody out when I came in. I gave him three fastballs. Mary, close to him. And he let two of them go by. And then missed the other one. Then you came right across the heart with a fast one.

It had an awful hop to it. It seemed to bounce up and down as it flew. Tig hit it and Mark was camped under it. Dutch Vinekoop was the boy I was afraid of. Dutch. I gave him one spitter like that.

And then another he didn't strike out like that.

That was a ball. Then I comes back with me two first ones and Dutch was a dead baby. They didn't steal any bases either. Gee, I could have kissed you that day. Why didn't you? I won four dollars and a pair of silk. Silk? Gloves. Buddy, sadly. That was one of my big games. In them days I thought I was Jake for the rest of my life, and then one day... At first I was twirling the ball, and I got it. Right here. And another here. And between eyes. And it was all over. It was Buddy Brady for the discard. Turns back to audience and speaks with deep emotion. It was all over. I was a has-been. I could never pitch into the bowl again. That's why you came here to the sanitarium? Buddy turns to her. Yeah.

The pal Jim Anthony was coming out to meet his, uh, finance, who's been cooped in here, and he said I'd better come along and let the superintendent look me over. Mr. Anthony is engaged to Miss Sylvia Dean, isn't he? Yeah, that's her name. Miss Dean. I suppose he is a rich young man. Me, sure he is. He's got a couple of farms upstate that brought him in thirty thousand clear money last year. Thirty thousand? My, I wish I had a couple of farms. I'm gonna manage one of them for him next year. You see, he's gonna move to the city and go into business. Merry, slowly and bashfully. Won't it be awfully lonesome for you up there? Managing a farm all by yourself? Lonesome.

I don't know. I got a dog. Mary shows impatience at his reply. I've got to go into the operating room now to see if Dr. Downes needs me. You wait around here in the grounds, or come back at one o'clock. Thanks. I'll stick around here if it's all the same to you. Maybe you can run out once in a while. What for?

Oh, nothing. I just kinda like sunshine, that's all. Alright. I'll run out once in a while if I can. Gives her hand. Goodbye. Buddy holding her hand. Say, how do you like being a nurse here in the sanitarium? I like it, but there are other things I'd like better. Mother always used to say that I was a regular farmer. Buddy still holding her hand. It ain't no wonder the folks here call you sunshine. You've done me a lot of good already. Do you know I've learned something about you? What is it? Mary laughs and runs to door of house at right, turns, faces him. You're not nearly as bashful as you think you are. Laughs and exits into the house. Sunshine. Say, they got a right label, all right, all right.

Gee, she's a nice girl. First time in my life I ever met a girl I could talk to without getting scared. Sits in the swing down left. How wouldn't I miss this trip here to the sanitarium for a million dollars? Sunshine. I'll say she is, so tell the grandstand. Enter Major Kellicott from rear left. Oh, good morning, Mr. Brady. Comes down centre. Buddy at left. Good morning is right. I never saw a better one. Sun John and everything. Have you seen anything of Mr. Anthony? Not since breakfast. He had a date with his lady, Finan, and said I ride through the mountains or something. Major looks at watch. He said he'd meet me here at ten. I didn't know you was coming here to the sanitarium at all. When we met you on the train last night, I thought you was going on through.

To be quite frank with you, that was my intention. But I thought this would be a good time and place to interest Mr. Anthony in a little business proposition I'm connected with. Jim don't know anything about business. He ain't city broke yet. I intend to introduce him to the business side of the city. He'll be city broke, then? Buddy to the audience. That I know. He'll be dead broke. You and Mr. Anthony are great friends, aren't you? I'll tell the team we are. Buddy's over in France, Jim, and he was, and we've stuck close to the glue ever since. I understand he's not connected with any city business. No. All he does is sign checks and go to the ballgame. He told me he was going to place his farm under managers and live in the city.

That's right. I'm going to run one of them for him. Oh, so you are a farmer? Buddy angrily. Who's a farmer? No, I don't know nothing about no farm, but Jim says all I gotta do is to pay the men and milk the cows. I'm gonna wear cowhide boots, by gosh, and grow long chin friskers and everything. Major looks off left. Someone is riding up the mountain. I think it's Mr. Anthony. Buddy crosses to rear left and looks off. Yep, that's him. And it's the Nancy's with him. I guess I'll slide along the third base. Have you met the young lady? Not yet. Say, she's the queen to look at, ain't she?

What's she dressed up that way for? Is that the uniform of the sanitarium?

Why, that's a riding habit. I'll say it's a bad habit. She looks like a boy. Come on, let's beat it. Don't you want to meet the young lady? Sure, but not now. You see, I ain't used to these society danes. I'll wait till he's at liberty. Let's look at the tennis court. Exit rear right back of the house. Enter Mary from right coming from the house. Mary agitated. Mr. Brady. Buddy at centre. Gee, the sun is shining again. Who was that man? What man? The man you were just talking to. I saw you from the window. That's Major Kellecott from the city. Do you know him? No, I... that is, I don't think I do. What time is it? Buddy looks at Huge Watch. Just ten. Then I have time to catch the train. Train?

Are you going away? Yes, I'm going away. I've got to get away. Where are you going? I don't know. Anywhere away from here. Anywhere. I've got to get away. Hurry's outright going into the house. Going away? I wonder what scared her. I wonder what scared her. Huh. It's him. She's afraid of Calicard. She's running away from him. I can't let her go away. She'll stay, and I'll take care of her. I'll take care of her. Exits at rear right, going back of the house. Enter Jim Anthony and Sylvia Dean from rear left. My, I'm glad you're here, Jim. I feel 100% better already. And tomorrow, we go to the city and start making plans for the future. Our future. We'll be married next week. Oh, not next week. It'll take me months to get ready.

And while you're getting ready, I'll be building a little nest. Just for us two. For you and me. A little love nest. Duet might be introduced similar to a little love nest from the musical comedy, Mary. Who were the men who came up with you last night? One was Buddy Brady. He was my pal over in France. They don't make him finer than Buddy. He's gonna run one of my farms when I move to the city. But I thought he was a baseball player. He was, but he had an accident that put him out of the game forever. Oh, I'm so sorry. He saved your life, didn't he, Jim? He sure did. Picked me off a barbed wire entanglement right in the face of the enemy's fire. He got a DSM for that. I want to meet him right away.

I'll bring him up after lunch. He's a diamond in the rough, but he is. But a diamond for all that. I'm sure of it. I thought maybe the sanitarium might help him. Oh, he's here for treatment then. Yes, if they can keep him still long enough. His middle name is Activity. The other man who came with us is Major Kellycott. We met him on the train, and he wanted to put some business proposition up to me. So he decided to stay over here for a day and talk to me. He wants me to go into business in the city. That's just what I want, too. It would be the best thing in the world for both of us. No matter how much money a man has, he should always have a business of some kind. Little Miss Wisdom. That's just my idea, exactly.

But why talk business when we can talk of so many more interesting things? We can't talk anymore at all. I've got to go in now for my last treatment. Come along and meet my doctor. At door right. I want to tell him how grateful I am for making you well again. They go into the house at right. Enter Buddy from rear right, from behind the house. I couldn't talk to him. I was seeing Red and I wouldn't say a word until I knew what it was all about. He scared her. She was like a little frightened bird trying to get away from a snake. I wonder what kind of a stranglehold he's got on her. She's a nice girl, and he... he ain't fit to live in the same world with her. Crosses to the swing down left. I mustn't let her get away.

Sooner than if anything like that happened, I'd take him out there and drop him down the side of the mountain. Soft music. Chorus of Mother McCree. Mary enters from the house dressed in an old-fashioned travelling dress with coat and hat. She carries a large, cheap-looking grip. She starts out at rear left, but pauses as Buddy speaks. Halt! Mary at rear left. Oh! I thought you'd gone. Buddy down centre. When the traffic cop says halt, you wanna stop, see? But I've got to catch the eleven o'clock train. "'Ain't you gonna say goodbye to me?' Mary comes to him at centre. "'Yes, sir. You've been good to me, Mr. Brady. I wish all the men in the world were as good as you are.' "'First time in my life anybody ever said I was good.

So you're going away?' "'Yes, I've got to go.' Places Grip on stage. "'Did you tell him in there?' "'No, I didn't tell anybody.' I didn't have time. I don't want anyone to see me. Whatcha going away for, Sunshine? I... I can't tell you. It's just that I want to get away from here. I want to go where no one knows me, and where those who know me can't ever find me again. I want to make a new start somewhere, somewhere in the country.

Why don't you go home? I haven't any home. I lived with my mother alone until... until she... Weeps. Then you're all alone? You ain't got nobody? No one who cares anything about me. Y-yes you have. I care. You? Why, you don't hardly know me. You just saw me for the first time half an hour ago. Yeah, that's so, little one, but you've got a friend in me. Now tell me honestly, why you are her in a way? I can't tell you. I can't tell anyone. I don't think you ought to go. You promised to help me when I put myself in the doctor's hands this afternoon. You promised, didn't you? Yes. Well then, I want you to keep your promise. Somebody here has frightened you. You thought you was all alone and wanted to make a quick getaway, but you was wrong.

You ain't alone. I'm here with you. I'll take care of you. And you really want me to stay? Want you to? Sure. Willie? I give you my word that nothing, or no one can harm you. And I know I couldn't have that some mucus infection taken out without you. Then I'll stay, if you really want me to. Gives him her hand. Say, Mr. Brady. Pauses and looks him square in the face. I just want you to know what I think. What do you think? I think they don't make men any finer than you are. I'm not afraid of anything in the world when you are here. Then believe me, sunshine, I'll be here for some time. You've been awfully good to me, Mr. Brady. Soft music, chorus of Mother McCree. You won't let anyone harm me, will you?

No, I'll tell the fans I won't. Mary crosses to house at right. Then I'll stay. Turns to him. You know everything seems different when you've got a friend. Buddy hastily crosses to her. Then you'll let me be your friend. I'm proud to have you. Now I'm not afraid of anything. Exits right. Buddy looks after her. Pauses, then crosses down-centre, turns and looks after her again. Her friend am I. Pauses, straightens up defiantly. Now, Major Kellecott, I'm ready for you. If you do a dirt, I'll break you, break you with my two hands like a rotten stick. I'll break you and throw you out of feet. Music swells as the curtain falls slowly. Second picture. Buddy has crossed to the door of the house and stands looking offstage into house.

Third picture. All the characters that have appeared in the first act are discovered bowing to the audience. Fourth picture. Curtain calls taken by Buddy and Mary. End of Act One.

2 02 - Act 2 51:22

Scene, the same as in Act One. The table down right centre is covered with a cloth long enough to conceal anyone hiding under the table. Lights the same as in Act One. Jim Anthony is discovered at centre, and a male quartet is grouped around the stage. Before the curtain rises, the quartet sings some popular chorus, the curtain rising on the last line. As the curtain rises, Jim may introduce a popular song with the other men singing the chorus with him. One verse and two choruses are enough. At the end of this number, Mordelia enters from rear left. Carrying a small fish on a string. Mordelia coming down centre. Say, do any of you men want to buy a fish? Shows it to them. I don't think we want to buy any fish today.

It's an awful nice fish. Look at him wiggle, and ain't he big? Jim at right centre. He's a regular whale. Where did you get him? In the water. Where did you think I got him? In an apple tree? Did you catch him? I'll tell the world I caught him. I'll catch something else too when Mom finds me. Why? Cause I ran away from the nurse and went to fishing, tore my dress too, and I got a hole in my stocking. Say, is lunch over yet? Sure. You're about half an hour late. And I'm hungrier than a mud turtle too. I'm hollow clean from here. Touch his head. Down to here. Touch his feet. I guess I'll have to eat the fish. Maybe if you've gone in the kitchen, the cook will give you a handout. She'll give me a handout all right, but it'll be a push.

The cook is sore at me ever since I put the two kittens in her bread dough. She says I'm a little terror. And I guess she's right. Why, I think you're a real nice little girl. Say, where do you get that stuff? You're a new one here, ain't you? Just came last night. What you got? High blood pressure? Sciatic rheumatism? Or neurasthenia? My mom's had all of them. I'll bet she's had more things than anyone else in the sanitarium. What are you here for? I'm here just for instance. What's instance? Some new kind of an operation? Don't tell Mom, or she'll think she's got it. If you want any lunch, you better hurry along. I bet I know who you are. You're the goof who came up here to marry Miss Dean, ain't you?

Men laugh. Well, I guess I am. Did you give her a ring? Sure. How much did it cost? Oh, a heap of money. Is it that big diamond one she wears all the time? Yes, I think so. Mom told old Miss Whipple that she bet it cost every cent of a thousand. Did it? Something like that. Do you ever make love to Miss Dean in front of other people? Not if I can help it. Why? Say... I'll give you this here fish for nothing if you'll let me see you and her make love.

Why do you want to see us? I want to get some practice. That's why.

I'm sorry, but I don't think I can oblige you. Not even for the fish? Not even for a fish. That's just the way. Folks never do anything to oblige me, and how do you suppose I'll know how to act when I get proposed to if I never have any practice? Places the fish on the table. Say, who was singing when I came up the hill? We all were. I can sing too. You can? I'll tell the world. Wanna hear me try? Sure, go ahead. If you're not too bashful. There ain't a bashful bone in my body. Listen! Song introduced. At the end of the song, the men go out at right. Mordelia catches the last man and brings him down centre. What's the big idea? Say, do you think he's coming back here and make love to Miss Dean?

It's very likely. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to get under there. Points to table. And hear how they do it. Man laughs and exits at right. It's a good place to hide from Mum, too. Crawls under the table. I'm just like an Indian in my little tent. Nurse Gregory wheels in Butternip from right. Don't jime me. Go easy, I tell you. The least little jar makes me see stars and causes my ears to ring. I'm not jarring you. If you don't be good, you shan't have your tonic. Who says I shan't? She wheels him to table and stands back of table. How'd you ever expect me to get well without my tonic? Seems like it's been a year since I had the last one. She pours tonic in small glass. Now don't be impatient.

A little of that goes a long way. I'll say it does. I can feel it tingling, clear down to my toes. I wonder what's become of Modelia. Her mother is getting so worried. I think I'll walk down to the beach, if you don't mind. I'll be back in five minutes. That child is always getting lost. Exits at rear left. Never saw such a sanatorium in all my life. Only let me have a tonic once every two hours. Looks around. She's gone. Guess I'll take another tonic. Pours small glassful of tonic and drinks it, smacking his lips. Fifty-nine percent, eh? Whoa. It's got a kick like a bee-stung mule. Enter Tessie from right. Tessie comes quickly to Butternip. Shhh! She says they're after you. Now is the time to escape.

The police are in the house. Wow, I thought you were the nurse. I have sent a letter for aid. Do you know how I sent word to them? I can't even guess. I sent it by a carrier pigeon. I couldn't get a pigeon, so I sent it by Mrs. Whipple's pole parrot Amelia. I've outwitted them. Amelia flew away, and soon relief will be at hand. She says you'd better leave at once. The police are after you. Don't tell anyone I told you. Shhh. Crosses to right.

Amelia flew out of the window, and I'm going to get in her cage and take her place to ward off suspicion. Shhhhhhhhhh. Not a word.

If the doctors hear her raving like that, they'll put her in close confinement. Guess I'll have another tonic. That woman's got me so excited. My, that's an awful taste. Worst taste I ever tasted. Guess I'll have another one to take the taste out of my mouth. Pours tonic in glass and drinks. Most peculiar tonic. Makes a horrible grimace. Ash, you are, old tonic. You're the most peculiar tonic I ever tonicked since I've been tonic-ing. Makes my mouth feel as dry as a chip. Guess I'll have another. Starts to take bottle. Mordelia pulls tablecloth a little, causing the bottle to slide away from him. Hold still, old bottle. Wash my wish-y bottle. I know wash my wish-y. It's full of tonic, and I'm full of tonic, too, and when anything is full of...

Oh, tonic. Tastes as strong as that tonic is bound to wobble. Sees fish. There's a fish too. I got them. I see fishes and tonics and everything. Mordelia raises her shoulders, causing the table to move up and down. Help! Help! Ghosts! Jumps up. And rushes wildly out at right, yelling. Mordelia crawls out. Wasn't that funny?

I guess you won't drink so much, don't it, next time? I ain't going to wait for that man to make loves no longer. I'm too hungry. It's time for the kitchen. Exit at right with the fish. Nurse Gregory enters from rear left. Mr. Butternip. Goodness, where is he? Comes to table. He couldn't walk by himself. What's become of him? Sees bottle. Oh, ho! That's it, isn't it? Takes bottle and glass. I'll have to tell the doctor at once. Enter Major Kellicott from rear left. Oh, nurse. Yes, sir? Will you ask Mr. Anthony to step out here a moment? Excuse me, sir. I'm a nurse, not a messenger boy. Crosses to door right. It's only fifteen feet from here to Mr. Anthony's room. Exit at right into house. Impudent.

I must manage to get back to the city tomorrow. This place is too dead for me. But first, there's the little chicken to be plucked, and maybe I can pick up a little other business on the side. Enter Jim and Sylvia from House at Right. Ah, Major. I was looking for you. Here, let me present Major Calicut of New York. Major, shaking hands with Sylvia, this is a pleasure. Jim has been telling me about you, Major. I'm glad he's decided to go into business. I want him to be a regular businessman. I'm afraid I'll be an awful dub in New York. All I know is farming.

You've made a wonderful success with your farms, I hear. Yes, that's true. But we've decided to live in the city, haven't we, Jim? Just as you say. You are perfectly right. We city men are always glad to see new young men enter our fields. I know all about your success in farming, Mr. Anthony, and I promise you I'll do all I can for you in the city. My partner, Mr. McGee, was speaking of you only last week, after he met you at the club. Mr. Silas N. McGee? Of course. There's only one Mr. McGee in New York. I've seen his pictures in the magazines. And you are his partner? It's one of the biggest firms in New York, honey. Listen. I know a certain reliable business firm that wishes to increase its capital.

It desires to enlarge its interests. Now you have the capital, and if you come in with this firm, it would buy up Santa Fe, which is flooding the market at 61, And I know from inside information that in one week's time it will reach one hundred and one. Wonderful. A return of the profits amounting to forty cents on the dollar. Would you like to take Santa Fe? I, er, I don't know. Would we have to go there to live? Santa Fe, you understand, is a railroad stock. Bonds, you know. Jim, to Sylvia. Oh, it's Bonds, Sylvia. I've always heard that bonds were good investments. If you care to come in with us, we'll double your investment in a year. You mean there's an opening for me at the McGee-Callycott Company?

If you will put into the firm an amount equal to our investments, you can become an equal partner. A partner with McGee and Kellycott. Sylvia takes Jim's arm. Oh, Jim, that's wonderful! I'll say it is. We'd change the name of the firm to McGee and Partners. And I'd be one of the partners? Exactly. How does the ideal strike you? Like a derk. How much would I have to squander? Squander? No, I mean invest. I'll put in every cent I'm worth. $40,000 will let you in on the ground floor. I'll go to New York with you tomorrow. I'll just draw up the necessary papers here in the office of the sanitarium. We can arrange it all right here. I'll have them ready for you in fifteen or twenty minutes. Jim shakes hands with him.

I don't know how to thank you. That's alright, my boy. I'm always glad to welcome young blood into the business. I flatter myself that I'm a good judge of men. I always have been. And I'm perfectly satisfied with our new partner. Gosh. I feel as if I'd ought to do something to celebrate. There isn't anything to do up here, but go down the mountain to the country store and squander five cents for an ice cream cone. Major takes papers from Wallet. And in the meantime, I'll draw up some sort of a contract. Sylvia crosses to him. I want to thank you, Major Kellycott, for all you're going to do for us. Shakes hands with him. Thank you, Miss Dean. It's a great pleasure. What a wonderful ring. Yes, isn't it?

It's the prettiest solitaire I've ever seen. Jim has wonderful taste in rings as well as girls. Oh, Major. We'd better hurry. Sylvia rings handbell on table. I'll have to tell the nurse where I'm going. Music, chorus of Mother McCree, played softly and slowly. Mary enters from house at right and stands in doorway, not seeing the Major, who is seated at table left center. Yes? Oh, Sunshine, just tell the Matron that Jim and I are going down to the village. Yes, Miss Dean. Sylvia takes Jim's arm, and they go out at rear left. Mary starts out at right. Major, who started at her voice, rises and speaks in a commanding tone. "'Mary,' comes toward her. Mary shrinks from him in fear. "'Don't, don't touch me.

I must go.' "'So this is where you've been hiding for three years.' You might have known I'd find you someday. Grasps her wrist. What are you doing here? I'm here as a nurse. A nurse? Drops her wrist and sneers. A fine nurse. Well, what have you got to say? Nothing. I must go in. I'm working in the operating room. You'll go in when I say you can. I want to have a few words with you, my girl. I'll not listen to you. I'll call for help. Major grasps her wrist. You'll not call for help? Have you forgotten who you are and who I am? Mary crosses and sinks in chair at right of table. No. God help me. No. I'd give the world to forget. Why have you come here? What do you want with me? I've come to take you away.

Away? Major at left of table. I want you to come back to New York with me. I have a little job for you. No, no. I can't do it. Oh, go away. Leave me alone. I'm so happy here. Don't take me away. Soaps. Don't take me away. I suppose you'd rather stay here and drudge yourself out as a servant than a sanitarium. Rather stay here. Yes, I'd rather stay here and scrub the floors as a drudge, as a slave, than go with you. I'd rather stay here, Hannigan Blake, and keep my self-respect. For here, I am among friends. Friends, do you hear? For the first time in my life. You go in there and get your things and be ready to leave with me tonight. No, I won't do it. I'm free from you and your way of life, and I'll never go back.

Never. I'm going to do whatever I please without asking you or anyone. I am a woman, and the time has come for me to declare myself. Henceforth, I'm going straight. She has risen on I won't do it and stands glaring at him across the table. You forget, my lady, that I'm your father. Forget? Forget? Do you think that I could ever forget that? It's with me the first thing in the morning and the last thing at night. For three years I've hidden away from you, but I've seen you in my dreams, holding me by the hair as you used to, and beating me, beating me, beating me." She breaks down and covers her face with her hand and sobs. It was all for your good, but I'll treat you better now. I've got a good thing, Mary, and I mean to push it.

You gotta help me. No, I won't do it. I won't go away. You'll do as I say. You're mine, you hear? As much mine now as you were in the old days at the mill. The mill? You do well to remind me of that. I'm no longer the weak little six-year-old that you tore from her ragged cot at four o'clock every morning and forced to slave like a grown woman in the mill until long after nightfall. I was your slave then, for fifteen years. But that's all past now, Hannigan Blake. I've done with you. Done with you forever." Faces him defiantly. Their faces close together across the table. Is that the way to speak to your father? You're not my father. Thank God there's not one drop of your vile blood in my veins.

You were my master. I was your slave, just as my mother had been your slave before me. Ever since I was six years old, and before, I've worked for you, slaved for you, even stole for you. Father, you who used to take my pitiful earnings from my baby hands. You who beat me when I cried because I was faint for food and want of sleep. Well, you'll never beat me again, Hannigan Blake. You killed all the childhood in me and the girlhood, but I'm my own mistress at last. When the other children at the mill went to their decent dances and picnics, you made me stay at home and beg for you. Every day for fifteen years, for nine hours a day, I worked for you blindly like a dumb creature on a machine, hating you, hating myself, hating life.

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I'd start up with a scream and long to die. For fifteen years, I was your slave. Then, I got away. And see what you've come to. Here I am rolling in riches, and you, you're a trained nurse. Yes, and this life has been the happiest I have ever known. I'm with people who care for me. I'm living straight and honest, and I have my own self-respect. Why, I wouldn't go back with you. No, not for all the money on Broadway. Suppose I were to tell them who you were. Suppose I were to tell them what you were. Do it. They'd have you arrested for your pains. I've told them everything. Go, and leave me alone. I never want to see you again. I tell you I need you, my girl, and I'm gonna get you.

Understand? I'm going to get you. You are not. I am a woman now. Not the weak, shrinking girl you once knew, but a woman with friends who care for me, and who will protect me. Enter Nurse Gregory from right. Sunshine, have you seen anything of Little Modelia? I can't find her anywhere. No, I haven't seen her. I'll look upstairs in the infirmary. Crosses to right. I'll see you again before I leave tonight. I don't think I'll ever see you again. To nurse. Find the new nurse and send her to the operating room. Tell her to have everything hot and to put out the new ether cones. It wants fresh carbolic and plenty of sponges.

Who is that high and mighty person, nurse? That's Miss Ray, the head nurse, sir. Hmm, I thought she was someone I used to know, but I guess I was mistaken.

Is there any place around here where I can find some writing material? Yes, sir. In the superintendent's office. One of the interns is there now. Very good. Exit at right into house. I simply can't stand that man. I wonder who he is. Wheels the wheelchair off at right. Enter Buddy from rear left. He comes down centre. Buddy looks around. Nobody here. I'm all dressed up and there's no place to go. I wonder where Sunshine is. Gee, she's a nice girl. Jim's down there with Sylvia buying out the grocery store and all the girls is paired off with all the boys. All except me. I'm lonesome, I guess. Sits on the table. Nobody seems to care whether I come or go. I'm like the guy who was just a lonesome little dewdrop looking for a place to fall.

Song may be introduced here similar to I'm a lonesome little dewdrop from the Greenwich Village Follies. I wish it was time for me operation, and I'd see sunshine again. Gee, she's a nice girl. Sits at left. Enter Tessie from the house at right. Tessie in doorway.

Buddy starts. What's the matter? I've been looking for ya. Comes to center. For me? What for? Rises. Shhh. Have they found a clue yet? Buddy puzzled. A clue? A clue to what? To the murder! Buddy sinks in chair at left. What murder? I thought you were the detective on the lookout for a clue. Right there was where the body was found. Points at his chair. Right where? Seated in that very chair. Buddy jumps up. But they never found the knife. Goes to him. Tell me, do you wear suspenders? No. Why? One of the detectives thought he might have been strangled with your suspenders, but that is impossible if you haven't any. I'll say it ain't. He wasn't strangled with my suspenders. Don't move. Keep cool.

In a terrible affair like this, one should always keep cool. Put some cracked ice on your head and then they will never suspect you. There is only one way to escape, through the cellar. I've bored a hole through the floor of the infirmary, and I whispered my message to the parrot and let her escape through the window. Mrs. Whipple's pole parrot, Amelia, has carried the message, and soon assistance will arrive. We must find the clue. What clue? Who was murdered? I have my suspicions, but I can't tell you anything yet. I must go. It's time for me to shoot firecrackers at the diet cook. Shhh! Don't try to follow me, for you are watched. Crosses to door. Buddy comes to center. Say, what is this? A movie show rehearsal or what?

She says that everything is discovered and you must escape at once. At once? At once! Exit into the house at right. Buddy pauses, then looks at the audience. Say, I'll bet a donut arm in the wrong kind of a sanitarium. Enter Jim from rear left. Hello, Buddy. Buddy meeting him at center. Say, do you wear suspenders? Jim at left center. Suspenders? Buddy at right center. One of the detectives thought he might have been strangled your suspenders, but that isn't possible if you haven't any. The boy's delirious. Put some cracked ice on your head and then they will never suspect you. Shh. Don't try to follow me, for you are watched. It's time for me to shoot firecrackers at the diet cook. What's the big idea?

Uh, I'm alright. I'm... Beginning to feel like a squirrel. A squirrel? That's the time. I just found a nut out here. Oh, I see. You've met one of the nearest thenics. I don't know what you call her, but she's got it bad. Where's your financing? She met a crowd of girls, and they insisted on buying her an engagement treat. I began to feel unnecessary, and thought I'd wait here for her. Say, she's some queen, ain't she, buddy? Have you seen anything of Major Kelly Cart? No. And I ain't anxious for no little suburban picnics with him either. There's something about that bird I don't like. Oh, he's alright. He's one of the biggest businessmen in New York City. That may be true, but I'm gonna keep my little pie locked up with a padlock and chain whenever he's around.

I don't like the colour of his hair. Why, he's one of the richest and best known brokers in the city, Major Kelly Cart is. How do you know this guy is really Major Kellecott? Why, I saw his calling card. He gave me one when he introduced himself. Heh, it isn't like you to be so suspicious, buddy. I trust Major Kellecott with every cent I'm worth. You'd better go kinda slow with them cents. Don't do anything in a hurry. I've gotta go in now and rest up a little for my operation. Oh, that. You won't have to rest much. It won't take ten minutes. Maybe not, but a lot of things can happen in ten minutes. Why, a fella could get killed with someone in only one minute. You're not afraid, are you? No, not afraid.

But I don't want to take any unnecessary chances. You'd better take ether, then. Other of what? Just one whiff of ether, and you won't know what's happening. Oh, you mean that dizzy stuff. Say, that's a good idea. I never thought of that. I'd better go in. Crosses to right. Enter Mrs. Whipple from the house, carrying a parrot's cage. She is very excited. Oh, mister, Amelia's gone. Have you seen anything of her out here? No, Amelia's out here. Have you lost someone? My little pole parrot. She was green, with a yellow tail. Mr. Whipple gave her to me before he died. Someone has allowed her to escape. Her cage was open, the window was open, and... Walking up and downstage from front to back at right, wringing her hands and speaking in an excited manner.

Buddy at right centre. Amelia was open too. Follows her up and downstage. Mrs. Whipple... Crosses to rear left and looks offstage. Why, you wouldn't take a thousand dollars for Amelia? She was as intelligent as a human being. Starts up and downstage at left. And now she's flown away. Oh, my nerves, my nerves. However, can I live without Amelia? Enter Mrs. McCann from house. She is very excited. Mrs. McCann rushes to buddy at right center. And grasps his arm. Have you seen her? I can't find her anywhere. No, that other lady was just telling me she had gone out. She went down to the shore with Nurse Marjorie, and no one can find her. She's drowned, I know. My baby's drowned. Starts to walk up and down at right, wringing her hands.

Mrs. Whipple is doing the same business at left, followed by Jim, who tries to calm her. Buddy, following Mrs. McCann. Your baby? Was she your baby? Yes, my only child. My heart is breaking. My mother's heart is breaking. Mrs. Whipple, to Jim. It's no use. You can't comfort me. I'll never see her again. Were you its mother? Of course I am. Oh, I'm distracted. Distracted. Paces up and down. Where can I find another? Where can I find another? Paces up and down. Buddy to Mrs. McCann. What did she look like? Jim to Mrs. Whipple. Describe her, and I'll help you hunt. Oh, she had long brown curls. Curls? She was 19 years old, and had a dear little red beak. She wore a white dress and blue ribbons. Where did she wear the ribbons?

She was green, and her tail was yellow. Buddy to Mrs. McCann. She was green, and her tail was yellow. Tail? That man's a raving lunatic. She wore a little blue and white hat. Jim to Mrs. Whipple. She wore a little blue and white hat. Hat? What are you talking about? Enter Nurse Gregory from House at Right. What's the excitement? She's been lost. Who's lost? Amelia. You mean Modelia, my little girl. She was green and her tail was yellow. He's raving. Put him in the confined ward. My parrot is lost. Comes to Nurse. Have you seen her? Someone let her out of the cage. She's gone. I'll never see her again. Your parrot? What's a parrot? My little girl is lost, drowned, maybe kidnapped. Enter Mordelia from house at right.

No, I'm not, Mom. Here I am. Mrs. McCann clasps her in her arms. My darling. Buddy had left to Jim.

Green body and a yellow tail. What you know about that? We are wasting time. Amelia must be found. I saw her fly over there. Points to rear left. Mrs. Whipple to Jim. Will you help me find her? She's all I have to remember my husband by. Mordelia, at rear left, looks off. There she is, up in that tree. Get her! Catch her! Rushes off. Can you climb a tree? To Jim. Maybe you can get her down. Runs out at left with Mordelia and Jim. Buddy calls after them. Put some salt on her tail. You'd better keep quiet. Dr. Downs will be ready for you in a few minutes. Exits at rear left. Gee, I was forgetting all about my sub-mucus infection. Sits at left. I wonder what's become of Sunshine. Enter Mary from right, coming from the house.

I was looking for you. Buddy meets her at centre. I've been looking for you ever since I first saw you. Gee, it's been an awful lonesome all by myself. The doctor will be ready for you in a few minutes. I've arranged the sponges and the ether cones. Say, uh, what is this ether stuff anyway? You just hold it to your nose and take a long breath, and that's all you remember until the doctor says, wake up. I won't mind it at all if you're gonna be there with me. I'll be right there. It's really not much of an operation. The doctor says you have a high blood pressure, too. Does my blood press? And the submucous infection has made your tongue swollen. It wasn't the infection that made me tongue swell.

What was it?

I ate a club sandwich and got a couple of splinters out of the club. Nothing ever troubles you, does it? I don't let it. And you ain't as blue as you was this morning, are you? No, I'm all right, I guess. That bird Kelly caught scared you, didn't he? Yes. He did. What's he been doing up here? He's trying to interest my pal Jim Anthony in some New York business deal. You take my advice and tell your pal to have nothing to do with him. He ain't straight, is he? Straight? That man's so crooked that when he dies they'll have to bury him in a bass drum. Has he seen you? Yes. He didn't say anything to you, did he? He didn't cut up rough? He wanted me to go to the city with him, and I refused. Gee, I'm glad you refused.

He, uh... He ain't got no claim on you, has he? I mean, you ain't married him or nothing like that? Nothing like that. He has no claim on me at all. I never want to speak to him again. I never want to see him again as long as I live. I think he's trying to get Jim to invest some money or something. Yes, that's one of his tricks. You warn your friend to have nothing to do with him. He's a crook. An ex-convict. You bet I'll warn Jim. I'll tell him tonight. I suppose you'll be leaving tomorrow? Yeah, I guess so. I kinda hate to leave this place. There's lots of attractions here. Maybe I'll stay on two or three days in case I have any more of them, some mucus infections. Then you like it here? Do I?

Gee, by three or four days here and I'll be living the life of Riley. Like it? Why, I'm sitting on the world right now. I like the sanitarium and the patients and the doctors and the nurses. I never saw such fine nurses in all my life. Do you tell that to all the girls you meet?

No, I don't. You ain't got my number at all. The only girl almost I ever talked to in my life was my mother. I'm just naturally bashful, I guess. Why, whenever I hear a skirt rustle on the street, I always run into a pool hall or a cigar store or someplace where they won't let me in. Somehow it's different with you. Say, what's your name? My name is Mary. Mary Ellis. Mary. Gee, that's a nice name. That's the nicest name I ever heard. Mary. Makes you think of church and music and everything that is good and holy. It's a nice name, Mary is. I think it's time for you to go upstairs now. Crosses to right. Are you going with me? Crosses to right. Yes, I administer the ether. If you administered, I wouldn't be scared to take it, even if it was arsenic.

We mustn't keep the doctor waiting. Exit into a house. Gee, she's a nice girl. Exit after her into house at right. Enter Mrs. Whipple and Nurse Gregory from rear left. Be calm, Mrs. Whipple. Modelia is climbing the tree. But there's a cat after my parrot. I saw it in the tree. Oh, my nerves! My nerves! Sinks in chair at left of table. Nurse, back of table. Never mind. You must be quiet, or I'll have to take you inside. You'll have to go to bed. Enter Jim from rear left. He comes down left. The kid's up the tree. Has she got the cage? Sure. If she opens the door of the cage, Amelia will hop right in. Enter Mrs. McCann from rear left. She comes down left center. In spite of all I could say or do, my baby child climbed up in that tree like a monkey.

Has she caught her? Did she get Amelia? Enter Mordelia from rear left with cage. The cage contains a large, live cat and is wrapped in Mordelia's apron. Mordelia comes down center. There it is! Shows cage concealed in apron. Mrs. Whipple rises. My little Amelia! You've brought her back to me! You darling child! Here, I'll give you a dollar! Gives it to Mordelia. Now, give me my parrot. Takes Cage and removes Apron, showing the cat to the audience. Why, this is only a cat. Where's my Amelia? There's nothing but a cat inside the cage. Aw, that's alright. Amelia's inside the cat. Inside the...

Screams loudly and faints in the chair. Mrs. McCann, taking Mordelia, And rushing her to right. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Drags her out at left. Here, help me get her into the office. Jim and Nurse lead Mrs. Whipple out at right. Enter Sylvia from rear left with eight girls, dressed in light-colored organdies, four coming from left and four from right. Sylvia sings, Just a week from today, and the girls do dance steps at rear. Jim enters and sings second verse. All sing chorus and dance off. For encore, the orchestra plays a wedding march, and a formal wedding scene is pantomimed with Jim as groom, Sylvia as bride, a preacher, flower girls, bridesmaids, and ushers. After the pantomime, all sing the chorus of the song again.

And march out. Enter Nurse Gregory from the house at right, wheeling in Mr. Butternip, who is very weak. Butternip is groaning, and has his head bound up in red flannel and white linen. He carries a piece of ice wrapped in a towel, and is holding it to his head. Don't jive me. Roll me easy, cause this is my last day on earth. Oh. Nurse. Wheeling him left front. I think you'd be better off in bed. The doctor told me to get out in the air. Oh, I've been in hospitals and sanitariums for the past ten years, and I've never been as low as I am now. I feel like ice and my head is burning up. If I close my eyes, I see pink elephants fighting blue tigers with a star-spangled black background. You know you shouldn't have taken all that tonic.

It's a wonder it didn't kill you. Tonic? Oh, don't ever mention that word in my presence again. Fan me. Oh, my head, my head. I'll bet it's grown seven inches in thirty minutes. Oh. I can't imagine how Amelia got out of her cage. It's heartbreaking. She was all I had, and now she's gone.

I'd like to kill that cat. Nurse, for the love of mercy, tell that human Niagara Falls to keep still. Oh, my head. Poor little Amelia, who could talk just like a human being. She was Mr. Whipple's last gift to me, and now she's gone. Sobs. Enter Jim and Sylvia from rear left. They come down center. Nurse, have you seen anything of Major Calicut? Yes, sir. He's riding in the office. Here he comes now. Enter Major from the house. He meets Jim at center. Oh, here you are. That's good. I have the papers all ready. Of course, you understand that these papers are mere formality. The regular papers will be prepared later in the presence of our lawyers. However, these are legal. They will serve as a receipt for your investment.

Sits left of table, Jim stands near him. Oh, this is my last hour on earth. Yes, give me a pillow. I mean, give me a pillow to ease my dying moments. Give me two pillows. On my head. Nurse exits at right into house. I have made out a check to my firm. All you have to do is to sign the check and take the memorandum papers. How much is the check for? Three hundred thousand. See, it's all ready for you to sign.

Three hundred thousand? Whew, that ought to buy out the whole Santa Fe Railroad. You have that much in the bank, haven't you? Oh, sure. But it's an awful lot of money to sign for. Sylvia near him. But think of the wonderful opportunity. Major hands Jim a fountain pen. Will you sign? You bet I'll sign. Here's where I soak the Santa Fe in the solar plexus. Enter Nurse Gregory from house with a large white pillow in her hand. Nurse at rear center. Mr. Brady is having an awful time. Jim pauses. His operation? Oh, that was all right, but he's under the influence of the ether. He's in the hall downstairs, and he's acting like a crazy man. First, he laughs, and then he cries. I never saw anyone so affected by ether before.

A sign right there on that line. Jim signs. Hurry, music. Enter Buddy from the house at right. He enters rapidly, speaks loudly, rapidly, and almost incoherently. And the green grass grows around, around, and the green grass grows around. Nurse catches him. You must come upstairs again, Mr. Brady. I've been taking ether and the green grass grows all around. Swings Nurse, asks for a dance. I'm going round and round and round. Comes down to Jim. Sunshine is everywhere and I've got my full share. Major to Jim. Here is the contract. Give me the cheque. Give me the cheque. Takes the cheque and the contract and tears them in little pieces. See the snow. Sings to tune of London Bridge is Falling Down as he scatters the bits of paper like snow.

See the snow is falling down, falling down, falling down, see the... Nurse grasps his arm and tries to pull him to write. Come, you must go in. You must. Buddy kisses the nurse. Hello, sunshine. Did you come out and see the snowstorm? Seizes the pillow from her and throws it at Butternip, who has risen and is watching the scene anxiously. The pillow hits him, and he topples over, capsizing the wheelchair. General confusion. Quick curtain. Second picture. Nurse and Jim are leading Buddy off at right. Third picture. Everyone who appeared in the act stands bowing to the audience. End of Act Two.

3 03 - Act 3 34:50

Scene. The same as the first and second acts. Time, night. Blue-shaded lights shine in on the stage from left. Lighted Japanese lanterns dress the stage. Two golf balls are on the table. Dance music takes up the curtain, disclosing Jim and Sylvia, Buddy and Mordelia, and several other couples dancing. Butternip is seated in his wheelchair at left. Buddy dances rather awkwardly. No, no, this way. She pulls him around. Now count. One, two, three, and over that way. Get it? Buddy, dancing with her. One, two, three, and then over. I got it. Dances and counts for three measures, then bumps heavily into Jim. Oh, I beg your pardon. Stops at right centre and mops his forehead with a red silk handkerchief.

Whew, that's hot work. Am I making you tired? I thought a great big man like you could dance all night. Come on! Whew! Just a minute. Wait till I get my second wind. Enter Mrs. McCann from right. She comes down center. Why, the sanitarium is becoming as lively as one of Mrs. Todd's house parties. To Buddy. Aren't you dancing, Mr. Brady? Yes. No. That is, I was just getting ready to start for the home plate. Mrs. McCann, putting her arms around him in dancing position. Come on, then. I'm just dying to show you the new cat step. Buddy, backing away from her toward Mordelia, who was downright. Well, I, uh... I, uh... Oh, Mordelia will excuse you. She mustn't monopolize the men. She's entirely too young to dance, and I'm sure she doesn't know all the new steps.

Dancing into his arms. Come along. The music is entrancing. Go on, buddy. She'll show you the cat step. It's the best thing she does. Don't mind me, Mom. The dance will be good for your rheumatism. Mortelia, whatever are you thinking of? I never have the rheumatism. Fortunately, that's one affliction I am spared. The dance ends. Buddy to Mrs. McCann. Thank you. I'll tell the world you're some dancer for an old lady. Old lady? Well, you may be a famous baseball player, sir, but you certainly are not used to good society. Crosses to right, followed by Buddy. No, I didn't mean that. That will do. Of course, I know I'm not a debutante, but I certainly am not ready for knitting needles and a crutch.

Old lady. Well, I like that. Phew. I kinda got my foot in it, didn't I? Your mum's certainly got up in the air. I'll tell the bleachers. Aw, what's the difference? Say, show me how you pitch your skyrocket. You ought to see him handle a ball. This is the way he pitches a skyrocket. You swing your right arm twice around this way, slap it with your left over your head, and shoo her at the moon. Now show the folks how you pitch your red-hot baby. That's easy. Rub your ball in the dirt. Illustrates. Twist yourself in a corkscrew. Do a windmill with your right and watch it burn. Pretends to throw. Mordelia takes the other ball from the table. Is this the way? Imitates him. Sure. You got it the first time.

You'll be playing on the big league someday. Aw, you know they won't let girls play. By the time you're a grown-up, Mordelia. Girls will be doing everything. And everybody. Butternip gives a cackling chuckle. Hey, did you hear that? He says girls will be doing everybody. Ain't he the funniest fella? Mordelia places her golf ball on the table. Let's see how far you can throw. Leads Buddy to rear left, and they look off and down. See that great big tree way down there? I'll bet you can't hit that. Ha! I couldn't miss that with my eyes shut. Keep your eye on the tree. Throws Ball out and apparently down. You hit it! Say, mister, you're a wonder! Comes down to Butternip at left front. Say, Mr. Butternip, he hit it!

He's some pitcher. I'll tell the world! Chorus boys and girls wander off at right and left, quietly. Wonderful. Perfectly wonderful what the human arm can do. Could you throw a ball like that, Mr. Butternip? Could I? Well, I should say I could. I used to do it even better than that before I came to the sanatorium. I bet you couldn't toss a high ball like he can. Toss a highball? You bet I could. That's the very best thing I ever did was to toss a highball. Sometimes I toss fifteen or twenty of them. Why, sister, I was the champion highball tosser of P.R.E. Illinois when I was younger. They talk in pantomime. Sylvia, seated right of table. Oh, Jim, my ring. Jim, seated left of table. What about it?

It isn't on my finger. I must have left it in my room. Rises. Never mind. It's perfectly safe. Sylvia crossing to right. I want to make sure. Exits right. Buddy comes from rear left and down center to table. What's becoming your financial friend, Jim? Oh, the Major. I believe he's in the sanitarium. Want him? I wouldn't take him as a gift. Believe me, pal, he's crooked, that guy is. Is that why you tore up the check in the contract? No, I didn't know what I was doing. I was under the influence of Ether. I don't think you were under any influence at all, except suspicion. Heh, maybe it was the sunshine that did it. Anyhow, he didn't make the deal. I put the kibosh on that for Jake. To my way of thinking, I saved you about $300,000.

Then you don't think he's on the square? He's 7,000 miles from the square. He's so crooked that he lives in the roundhouse. What makes you think so? Oh, uh, I just got a hunch, that's all. Enter Major from right. Ah, Mr. Anthony. Enjoying the little party in honour of your fiancé, are you? Yes, we've been having a little dance out here. Mordelia down left with Butternip. And we're gonna have ice cream in the dining room. Major to Jim. I intend to leave on the early morning train. Hadn't we better settle up our little bit of business before I go back to the city? I think I'll wait and call on you in your office. There's no time like the present, you know. Down right of table. Come now. All you have to do is to sign this cheque.

I made out a new one. Presents Fountain Pen to Jim. Jim at left of table. I don't think I'll sign it just now, Major. But the shares in our company will be snatched up just as soon as I return to town. You don't know what a good thing you're missing. Buddy down centre, watching them. You're going to miss a pretty good thing yourself, I'm thinking. Major angrily. I'm not addressing my remarks to you, sir. That don't hurt my feelings none. I don't care if you never address your remarks to me. Major crosses to him. I've half a mind to... Clenches his fists. Buddy smiles at him calmly. You'd better change your half a mind. Major at centre turns to Jim. Surely you're not going to allow this Bowery boy to influence your judgement, Mr.

Anthony? Jim rises and faces Major. This Bowery boy, as you call him, is my pal, my chum, and whatever he has to say, I'm willing to hear at any time and at any place. But... But he knows nothing of business. Absolutely nothing. A mere ball player. Maybe he doesn't know much about business, Major Kellycott, but he has the reputation for being a pretty good judge of human nature for all that. Body at left center. You tell him, old trolley lion, you got the power. I've made up my mind, and I don't care to discuss the matter any longer. But... I won't sign the check now. And there's an end to that. When you get back to the city, I'll come see you with my attorney, and we'll investigate your offer in the proper place.

Major bows to Jim. Just as you please. Turns to Buddy. And as for you, sir... Shifting to low, shifting to low, you'll run over a sandy road. I won't bandy words with you. That won't make me lose any sleep. I wish you all a very good evening. Bows. Buddy addressing an imaginary person at left front. James, show the gentleman to his limousine. Major angrily. You haven't heard the last of this, sir. Crosses to rear left. That's so. You'll hear from me again. That's nice. Drop me a picture postcard sometime and tell me how the Santa Fe is getting along. Bah. Exits at rear left. He talks like a sheep. Butternip down left to Mordelia. He said bye, and I told him he talked like a sheep. Ain't he the funniest fella.

What have you got against the Major, buddy? I don't like the cut of his necktie that's all. I take it from me, Jim, that bird ain't what he pretends to be at all. The trouble with him is that he's got a good front, but a crooked back. His looks are eight-cylinder, but there's a screw loose somewhere, and he's only hitting on two. In plain words, I think he's a crook. Enter Mary from right. Your mother is looking for you, Maudelea. Gee, the clouds is all faded away, and the sunshine's out again. Sunshine? Why, it's eight o'clock at night. Oh, I know. He means you. To Mary. Say, is he your beau? Why, honey, of course not. I never saw him before today. That don't make no difference. He's a quick worker.

You ought to see him pitch his red-hot baby. Enter Mrs. Whipple from right. She comes down right. I thought I'd better come out and get a breath of air. It's stifling in the sanitarium. Sees Mary. Why, Mary, you gave me such a shock. I gave you a shock? How? Mrs. Whipple at right front. When you came out of Miss Dean's room about half an hour ago. Miss Dean's room? Why, I didn't. Did you see me come out of Miss Dean's room? I saw someone. Just as I was starting for the dining room, it was so dark in the hall I couldn't make out who it was. Mary at left front. But why do you think I came out? Because whoever it was, I followed her, and she went into your room. Are you sure? Yes, for I struck a match and looked at the number on the door.

But I haven't been in my room this evening. Well, it was someone. Miss Dean's door opened softly, and someone slipped out and went sneaking down the hall to the nurses' rooms. I followed, and whoever it was went into your room and locked the door. Was it a nurse? I couldn't tell whether it was a man or a woman. Maybe one of the nurses went in there to rest. They often do that. I thought it might have been a burglar, and my nerves haven't recovered yet. Sinks in chair at right of table. I don't know when I've been so upset. Enter Nurse Gregory from right. She is excited. Oh, Mr. Anthony! Mr. Anthony! Jim crosses to her at right. Yes? What is it? It's Miss Dean. She wants you to come to her at once.

Is anything wrong? She sent me to find you. Tell him to come at once, she says. She's in the superintendent's office. Exit set right, followed by Jim. My nerves are all unstrung.

I'll never go in that hall in the dark again if I live to be a hundred. I wonder what Miss Dean wanted with Mr. Anthony. Buddy had left a table. Maybe she wanted him to dance the Peruvian glue-lu with her or something. Young fellas are always ready to do anything girls want them to when they're in love. Mortelia, who has been standing with Mary at rear left, comes down to Mr. Butternip. Say, Mr. Butternip, how does it feel to be in love? Makes you feel like a yellow dog caught stealing eggs and one of them spire. I know what love is. You do? Well, what is it? Mordelia to Butternip. Mr. Lies, you fellows tell us girls. Men laugh. She ain't so far wrong at that. Come, Mordelia. All right, let's go and see what kind of refreshments they're going to have.

Mum said they'd have ice cream, but you can't have any, Mr. Butternip. Why can't I? Mordelia at right with Mary. Because you drank up all your tonic. The doc says you can't have anything fancy for a week. That must have been an awfully funny tonic. It made you act so queer. Runs out at right, followed by Mary. Cute little kid, ain't she? No, she's not. She's entirely too fresh. She's spoiled to death. A sanitarium isn't any place for a child of her age. I don't like children. They made me so excited. You haven't any of your own, then? No, thank the Lord. I'm a bachelor. Then you don't believe in marriage? Oh, yes, I do. For some folks. I think it's great. I'd get married myself if I could. What's holding you back?

A license only costs a dollar, and you can get a girl for nothing. Such sentiments. For a five dollar pill, you can get married and have four dollars change to start housekeeping. You can live on the wedding presents for a year. Much you know about it. If I ever do get married, I'm gonna have a quiet wedding and no presents. No presents? Nonsense. A man who takes pity on a woman and marries her is entitled to all of the wedding presents he can gouge out of her relatives. Mercy. How do you talk? When you figure it up, a man exchanges his life and liberty for a set of furniture, a pile of rug, six rocking chairs, and two pairs of slippers that don't fit, a smoking jacket, and a woman's barbell for life.

Buddy, seated left of table. Then you think marriage is a nice easy graft. Butternip, seated in wheelchair down left. Graft. It's a bunko. And yet they keep building schoolhouses every year. Why is it a bunko? In a few months, the rocking chairs break, the furniture wears out, your wife breaks the slippers over your bin, the smoking jacket is gone, the pile of rug is gone, but the wife, she stays on forever. You can't lose her if she doesn't wear out. Then there's the landlord to pay. And the grocer to pay. And the butcher to pay. And your wife's mother comes to visit. There's the devil to pay. Such language. Excuse me, I didn't know you were listening. I wasn't listening, but I couldn't help overhearing, could I?

I'm going in. I've got to see the doctor in a hurry. Wheels chair over to right, rapidly. Why the hurry? Are you sick? Nope. Thirsty. Exits at right in chair. Enter Mrs. McCann from right. What's the matter with that old man? Who, Mr. Buttermilk? He's in a hurry. Mrs. McCann comes down left. There's something going on in the superintendent's office. An operation. He's extracting a hundred dollars from a rich patient. No, it's something serious. They've sent for Mary, and she's in there now. Nurse Gregory knows all about it. She'll tell us. She couldn't keep a secret if it was mailed in. Enter Nurse Gregory from right. What's going on in the superintendent's office, nurse? Oh, I can't tell. It's something dreadful.

Sunshine just came out, and she's crying. She's packing up her things. She's going to leave the sanitarium. Buddy starts up. Sunshine? What have they been doing to her? It seems that somebody went into Miss Dean's room and stole her diamond ring. Mrs. McCann down left in swing. It wasn't Sunshine. I'll stake my life on that. Buddy, down center, standing. And so will I. Two lives. Mrs. Whipple, seated right of table. They can't make me believe it. No matter if someone did slip into her room. I know an honest woman when I see one, and Sunshine hasn't a dishonest hair in her whole head. I know. Nurse at right entrance. The superintendent wants to see you in the office, Mrs. Whipple. Mr. Anthony said he heard you say that you saw someone creep out of Miss Dean's room and slip into Sunshine's room.

I did, but it wasn't Mary. How do you know it wasn't? She said it wasn't. She wouldn't say anything at all in the office. She just said she didn't do it. Mr. Anthony asked her who slipped into her room, and she appeared confused. Anyhow, she wouldn't say another word. They're waiting for you. Mrs. Whipple begins to weep. Oh, I can't go in. It's just like being on a witness stand, and my nerves are all unstrung. Maybe I didn't see anyone at all. Maybe it was just my imagination. Oh, I can't stand it. I simply can't stand it. Exits right, followed by nurse. I think I'd better go and talk to Jen. I know she never stole no diamond ring. Of course she didn't. But maybe she is trying to shield someone who did.

She's a girl in a million, she is. I trust her with my life. Why, I'd just as soon think me own mother was a thief as that she was. You're not in love with her, are you? Buddy bashfully twists foot. I don't know what you call it. All I know is that I never met a girl like her before. Why, every time I see her I feel like a mule had kicked in the left side of my chest. Enter Tessie from right, dramatically. Tessie comes to right-center and speaks to Buddy earnestly. She said to tell you to fly at once. Everything has been discovered. The police are on your trail. On my trail? They don't think I've swept the ring, do they? They think you've strangled him with your suspenders, but they haven't found a clue.

Oh, you're still after the suspenders. I thought it was something else. She says to tell you to fly at once. Everything has been discovered. The police are on your trail. You'd better go back to the dining room. How did you get away? I climbed down the water spout on a morning glory and skated the rest of the way on ice. You'd better climb back up. This ain't no place for climbers. They're dancing in the dining room. I'm going to climb up on a diamond and watch them. Climb up on a diamond? Say, lady, excuse me, but you're a little loose in the gear. Didn't you ever see anyone climb up on a diamond? No, did you? Of course I did. I've seen a jeweler mount a diamond in his front window. Buddy to audience.

She ain't crazy. She's just got an upstairs attic for her end, that's all. Come with me. I'll take you to see the dancing. Come along. Exits at right. Tessie in doorway at right. She said to tell you to fly at once. Shoo fly. Tessie earnestly. Everything has been discovered. The police are on your trail.

The police are on your trail. Exits at right. Buddy at left. Somebody's framed someone up on Sunshine. She wouldn't steal the scent if she was starving. Why, she's a girl in a million, and they said she was going away. Fired, I suppose, and they've tied a label of thief on her. The poor little kid. The poor little kid. Soft music. The chorus of Mother McCree. Mary enters slowly from right and crosses to rear left. She wears street clothes and hat and carries her grip. Her face expresses grief. Ain't you even gonna say goodbye? Comes to center. Mary turns to rear left. I didn't suppose you'd care to speak to me now. Folks won't have anything to do with me anymore. Is that the kind of a guy you think I am?

Mary takes two steps toward him. No, I didn't think so. You are good and clean and straight. You are. Buddy takes a step toward her. And I never deserve a pal when they're in trouble. I'm gonna help you, kid, if it takes every sin I've got. I'm your friend, and I'm going to stand by you till the cows come home. Mary extends her hand. Thank you, sir. Let's talk the thing over for a minute. Why don't you come with me back to the superintendent and explain everything? Oh, I can't. I can't. You know what happened, don't you? Miss Dean's ring has been stolen. Mrs. Whipple thought she saw me coming from the room. She saw someone slip into my room, and I couldn't explain. They think I'm a thief. Everyone thinks so, and I can't even explain.

Weeps. I don't think so. I know you're straight. I know you never took that ring. But I can't give any explanation. I can't tell what I know. All I can do is to go away. Miss Dean won't allow me to be arrested, but the superintendent said I'd have to leave at once. He asked me to tell who I was shielding, but I wouldn't tell. I couldn't. So they branded me as a thief and sent me away. End music. You're trying to shield someone else, ain't you? She looks at him, but does not reply. I know you are. And I got a pretty good idea who it is, too. Maybe it's best that I should go away and try to start all over again. I've been happy here. Happy for the first time in my life. And now, it's all over. I'll have to make another start somewhere.

Or maybe it ain't as serious as you think. It's just a foul ball, that's all. It's what they call an error. What's one little error? But my whole life has been like that. This is the first time I have ever had a chance, and now I've lost it. There's good days coming, little one. They say every cloud has a silver line, and it's true. Every baseball fan knows that. Life is just like a ball game. There's fouls and errors and strikes, but there's balls, too, and home runs and victory, if you've got the nerve to fight it out. When you first come to the bat, you're full of pep and the joy of life. That's youth. Buddy, dramatically acting out the lines. You're at the bat. The ball is happiness, and it's sailing right toward you.

But he's a wise guy, that pitcher, and he ain't gonna be as easy as you think it is. You see him twist and zoey, imitates pitching. Your bat is ready. It comes. You fan the air and the bunch shouts, strike one. A failure. Oh, I know that part of it. I've always failed. But you're young and fresh and confident. You're more careful now. You study the twist of the pitcher and the curve of the ball. You've got his number. This time you're bound to win. You know it. You feel it tingling in every nerve. You'll show him. You've got the goods. And it's up to you to deliver. The pitcher thinks you're a dub, but you know better. See him smile. Hear the bleachers cheer him. He's getting ready. He comes.

You hit wild, and the umpire calls strike two. Another failure. The crowd jeers and mocks you. The sky is dark, all the youth and confidence and pepper gone. You tremble with shame and bow your head. A failure. A mocking voice seems to whisper. You can't do it. It's not in you. You're a dub, a mutt. Give it up. What's the use? You can't do it. You can't do it. What are you gonna do? Give up? No. No, no. You ain't a piker. You're there to do your best. You're dazed and heart-sick with failure. Illustrates See the picture. He's crouching like a demon. You tremble. Then something big comes in your throat and you feel yourself again. You'll show him. It's now or never. It's your last chance. It comes.

Zui! You got it. Oof! Ball one. Up in the air. Run, boy, run. Now slide, slide. A home run. Joy! You've made it. You've won. You've won, and victory is yours. Then you think there really is a chance for me? I'll tell the world I do. But you've got to start fair. You've got to explain everything. No one can hurt you. I'll protect you. What do you think I ought to do? I think you ought to tell the Sub-Intendent everything. Let the blame fall where it will. I've got a hunch it's this major guy. Yes, it is. It is. Why should you shield him? What claim has he got on you? He isn't a major. He's a sham, a fraud, a criminal. He's my stepfather. Then why not let him take the medicine he deserves? He'd kill me if I didn't shield him.

Don't you believe it. You ain't fighting a lone game any longer. It's the two of us. Me and you. Won't you give me the right to help you? Won't you? "'Won't you, Sunshine?' "'You want me? Why, I'm only a nurse, a working girl.' "'I'd rather have you than all the queens in the world.' Enter Mordelia from right. "'You're going to miss the ice cream if you don't hurry.' "'We're just coming in, ain't we, Sunshine?' "'Yes, we're going in. I'll tell the superintendent everything.' They cross to right. And you'll never have anything to worry about again. I'm going to take care of you. Say, how does it feel to be in love? It's great, kid. It's the greatest thing in the world. Gee, I wish somebody was in love with me.

I wonder what's become of Mary. I must have a word with her tonight. If she'll only keep a still tongue in her head, I can get away with the sparkler at least. Takes ring from vest pocket and looks at it. It ought to be good for a thousand anyway. Enter Tessie from right. Say! Major hastily conceals the ring. Uh, yes? She said to tell you to fly at once. Fly at once? Why? Everything has been discovered. Did Mary say that? You must fly at once. The police are on your trail. The police?

I'll go this way.

Help! Help! He's making his escape! Help! Help! Enter Nurse and Mrs. Whipple from right.

Enter all the other characters from right. He's making his escape! Who is? I told him to fly at once, and he flew! Rushes to rear left and points off and downward. There he goes! The police are on his trail. Buddy looks off rear left. It's him! It's the Major and he's running like a hound. Catch him, Jim! He's got my diamond! Buddy gets golf ball from table. I'll just wing his flight. Throws ball off left. Jim, after slight pause... You hit him! You got him. Buddy, you're a wonder. Rushes out left, followed by all except Buddy and Mary, nurse pushing Butternip in his wheelchair. Jim will get him. But I'm afraid. Oh, I guess I can take care of you now. We're engaged, you know. Are we? I'll tell the world.

Mary takes his arm. You know, I've never been engaged before. You've got nothing on me. Mary looks up in his face. I'm the happiest girl in all the world. Say, if I'd kiss you, would you call for help? You wouldn't need any help. He slowly kisses her. Say, I made a home run. Are you happy, buddy? I'll tell the world I am. Slow Curtain. End of Act Three. End of Sunshine by Walter Ben-Hair

queue_music Chapters 3