Chapter 4
Chapter 4 of Tildejane. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Audrey Giger. Tildejane by Marshall Saunders. Chapter 4. Unstable as Water. A vacant easiness possessed her. Ah, how happy would she be! Could she know that the young creamery man was sleeping under the same roof.
But he was speeding somewhere far away over the snowy roads. However, she should see him again. He had said so, and, with hopefulness of youth, she sighed a happy sigh, and, closing her eyes tightly, listened to the various sounds about the quiet house. There must have been another arrival, for she heard doors opening and shutting, and also the jingle of sleigh bells. They were strangely confused in her mind with the ringing
of the rising bell at the orphan asylum. And she was just sinking into a dreamy condition, a forerunner of sleep, when she heard a hard voice in her ear. Get up undressed, little girl! She raised herself quietly from the pillow. There stood over her the tall, gaunt woman whom she had heard Mrs. Minley address as Ruth Ann. To her perturbed mind there arose a vision of a graven image from the Bible,
as she stared at the woman's stony countenance. She was standing shading a candle with her hand, and her deep eyes were fixed in unmistakable compassion on the little girl. Jump up, she repeated, undressed like sixty. You've got yourself into a peck of trouble. Tilda Jane had not thought of questioning the wisdom of this command. Something about the hard-faced woman inspired her with confidence, and without a word she stepped out of bed and
began rapidly putting on her clothes. I'll talk while you dress, said the woman in a hard, intense voice, and putting down the candle. But, Lord, how can I say it all? There was a kind of desperation in her tone, although no trace of emotion appeared on her face. Tilda Jane felt a strange kinship with this reserved woman, and flashed her a sympathetic
glance while buttoning one of her stout and ugly garments. Ruth Ann made a brief grimace. Here I am, she said, with a sudden burst of speech. A middle-aged woman getting old. You're a young one setting out on life's journey. I'll never see you again, probably. Let me give you a word. Be honest, Ann. If you can't be honest, be as honest as you can. You'll have no luck otherwise.
You may think you're having luck and being sly, but it's a kind of luck that turns to loss in the long run. There's that sister of mine. She reminds me of Reuben in the Bible. Unstable as water, thou shalt not excel. She's that deceitful that I should think she'd choke with it so she couldn't breathe. Tilda Jane made no remark, but as she threw her dress over her head, her two black eyes scintillated
wonderingly in the woman's direction. Unstable, said Ruth Ann bitterly. I'd have loved her if she'd been honest, but it's always the same. Fair to the face, far behind the back. I've slaved for her and waited on her, and heard her praise for work I've done. And seen young men ogle her, and she ogle back. And I've never had an offer, and never will, and sometimes I think I hate her.
Tilda Jane paused for an instant in her rapid dressing. This sisterly repulsion was something unknown to her childish experience. Then when she gets sick of stuffing herself, I'm feared and think she's going to die, but she'll tend my funeral and cry and look so handsome that some old jack will pop the question on the way home. Here, child, eat these while you dress. And she drew some doughnuts from her pocket.
Tilda Jane pushed them from her with an involuntary movement of dislike. You've turned again me for turning again my sister, said the woman bitterly. With till you're treated as I am. And let me tell you what she's done to you. You made mention o' Miss Granis. Miss Granis has got a mortgage on this house. Miss Granis lends her money. Miss Granis is the god my sister bowed down to.
Do you think she'd let you stand between her and Miss Granis? No, the minute she heard you say Miss Granis would be pleased to get you back. That minute she made up her mind to fool you and Hank Dillson, that she can't abide cause he ain't never asked her to stop being a widow. So she made me help her hitch up, and she's off on the wings of the wind to tell her sweet
Miss Granis to come and get you and just to fool her who is so cute at fooling other folks. I made up my mind to get you off, and now do you take it in? Tilda Jane did take in this alarming bit of news, and for one instance stood aghast. Then she resolutely felt the lacing her shoes. You're gritty, said the woman admiringly. Now I'll tell you what I've laid out.
I'm going to guide you through the woods to the Moss Glen station. When we get most there, I'll skedaddle home and to bed, cause I don't want sister to found me out. Here's an extra pair of stockings and shoes to put on before you board the train. You'll get yours full of snow water. If all goes as I calculate,
you'll have time to change them in the station. You don't want to get sick so you can't stand up to that old man. Here's a little tippet for your shoulders. Dillson told sister to give you a shawl, but she'll not do it. And he paid her too. Now come, let's start.
Tilda Jane brushed her hand over her eyes, resolutely picked up her dog and followed her guide out to the kitchen. Ruth Ann caught up a shawl, threw it over her head and opened the door. My, it's black. I guess we'll have to take a lantern. She turned back, fumbled in a corner of the kitchen,
struck a light, then rejoined Tilda Jane. For some minutes they plotted on in silence. Then Ruth Ann said anxiously, I don't know what I'll do if it don't snow. She'll track us. Sure. Me, big feet. I knew, smaller ones. Glory, it's snowin' now.
A sudden wind had sprung up in the black, quiet night and whirled a few flakes of snow in their faces. Then the snow began to fall from above, gently and quietly, flake by flake. Tilda Jane struggled along the heavy road in the wake of the tall woman ahead. The small dog seemed to have grown larger and lay a heavy burden in her arms.
Yet she uttered no word of complaint. Her mind was in a whirl and she gave no thought to physical fatigue. What was she doing? Had she, a little girl, any right to give so much trouble to grown people? Her actions were exactly in opposition to every precept that had been instilled into her mind.
Children should be seen and not heard. Children should wait on grown people. Children must not lie under any circumstances. They must be obedient, truthful, honest and uncomplaining. Perhaps she ought to go back to the orphan asylum. She could stand punishment herself, but her dog?
They would make her give him up. Some boy would get him. Boys were all mischievous at times. Could she endure the thought of that little feeble frame subjected to torture? She could not, and stealing her heart against the asylum, the matron and the lady managers, she walked on more quickly than ever.
She would never forget that ghostly walk through the woods. The narrow way wound always between high, snow-laden sentinels of trees. The sickly, slanting gleam of the lantern lighted only a few steps ahead. Mystery and solemnity were all about her. The pure and exquisite snow, on which they were putting their black-shod feet,
was to her the trailing robe of an angel who had gone before. The large, flat snowflakes showered on her erring head were missives from the skies. Go back, little girl. Go back. Lord, I can't go back, she repeated stubbornly. But I'll repent some more, by and by.
Please take away the sick feeling in the middle of my stomach. I can't enjoy anything. The sick feeling continued, and she gave Ruth Ann only a feeble yes. When she suddenly turned and threw the light of the lantern on her with a brisk, don't you want to know what lie I'm going to tell about your leaving?
I'm not going to tell any lie, Ruth Ann continued triumphantly. If you've got grace enough to hold your tongue, other folks will do all your lying for you. Sister will come home, Miss Gran is with her, probably. They'll go ravaging in the spare room.
They'll come ravaging out. Ruth Ann, that young one's run off, and I'll be busy with my pots and pans, and all I'll have to say is, do tell, or why, how you talked, and Sister will rave and tear and run around like a crazy thing, and look at Miss Gran as out of the corner of her eye.
Ruth Ann's shoulders shook with enjoyable laughter, but if she had turned suddenly, she would have seen a look of unmistakable disgust flitting over the face behind her. She did turn suddenly a few minutes later, but the look was gone. Here, give me that dog, she said tarantarily.
The little girl protested, but the woman took him, and again they plotted on in silence. Here we be, she said after they had been walking for an hour longer. Tilda-Jane raised her head. The narrow road had abruptly expanded into a circular clearing,
and in the midst of the clearing stood a small wooden building. Ruth Ann walked up to it, handed Tilda-Jane the dog and the lantern, and put her hands on one of the diminutive windows. It opened easily, and she ejaculated with satisfaction. Just what I thought.
Come, crawl in here, the station agent's been here all the evening. And the fire ain't quite out. You'll be as snug as a bug in a rug. He'll be back at daylight again. And soon after your train'll come along for kiss cassette.
Don't you breathe a word to him about me. Say Miss Minley brought you here, if he asks anything. Here's enough money to buy your ticket. I ain't got much. Sister keeps me short. And she stick away with her, what Hank Nelson gave her for you.
Mind and keep that card with his father's name pinned inside your dress. Here's the lunch. And she produced a parcel from her pocket. Don't fret, sister can't get home much before breakfast. And by that time you'll be in kiss cassette.
And I guess they'll not follow you there. She don't know the name of the place anyway. She didn't take no count when Hank mentioned it. And when she asked me, you'd better believe I forgot it too. Tilda-Jane scrambled through the window.
And upon arriving inside, turned around and gravely shook hands with her guide. I guess I shan't forget this. Don't you take no pains to remember it before, sister. Said the woman with a chuckle. If you don't want me to live and die in hot water, good luck to you.
Shut the window and put a stick on the fire. And she strode off through the snow. Tilda-Jane shuddered. She was not a nervous child, yet the knowledge that she was alone in a forest pressed and poured down upon her.
However, she was out of the increasing storm. She had got her guilty feet off that angel's trailing rope. And the little letters from heaven were not dashing in her face. Nor was there any danger now that one of the groaning trees bending to lament over her would fall and crush her shrinking form.
They were creaking all around the circular opening. Those spying trees staring through the curtainless windows at her. And instead of throwing on more wood and making a blaze that would enable her to be plainly seen, she opened the stove door and, cowering over the embers, changed her wet foot gear and tried to drive her clinging skirts.
She was entirely miserable until the frightened dog crept into her arms. Here was something weaker and more in need of protection than herself. And, hugging him closely to her, she prepared to spend the rest of the night in a patient waiting for the morning. End of chapter 4, recording by Audrey Giger.
